The day we got back from vacation, I told both my girls to a Panic at the Disco and Weezer concert. I let them each bring a friend. We purchased the tickets in January and they have been anxiously awaiting it. They LOVE Panic at the Disco - they know the whole album front to back. So do I, because I had to listen to it every morning while dropping off my 4th grader to school.
"This song had the F-word in it but only two times, so it's not that bad..." What the hell? Some of the songs are questionable, but they have some acceptable, catchy music. I was just going for Weezer anyway. We show up to the concert and we had nosebleed seats but still a pretty good view of the stage.
It was mostly 20 somethings but a lot of teenagers too. A fair amount of 10-12 year olds there with their parents. Panic at the Disco played first. They were really good live. The kids stood up on the bleachers and danced and sang their little hearts out. It was a great show until the lead singer started talking in-between songs. He said, "I'm from Las Vegas. Las Vegas is pretty cool because drugs are readily available and everyone wants to f**k each other." I was like,
I took them to a concert where that sentence was said out loud. My kids can't unhear it. Good job. Bad Mom Award.
That prompted my oldest daughters friend to relay an off-color joke her mother had made that day. "It was so gross. I don't want my parents to do THAT ever." She just went on and on about it. Finally, I laughed and said, "How else are married people supposed to stay married?" I shouldn't have said that. My kids gagged. LOL. That is another sentence that cannot be unheard. Bad Mom Award.
Fast forward to this week, I have been busy preparing my kids to go to camp. On Thursday night my 11 year old stood in the doorway to ask me a question. I was laying in the bed staring at the ceiling contemplating what is happening to my life. "Mom, are you and dad going to do something tomorrow for your anniversary?"
I replied, "No. We are going to do something all week while you guys are gone."
She literally fell to the floor, stuck her fingers in her ears and started screaming. "MOOOOOOMMMMM. YOU ARE SO DISGUSTING. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY THAT TO ME!!!!"
By something, I meant that we were going to go on dates all week while they were gone to celebrate our anniversary because we didn't have to worry about kids.
]I should have said, "How to do expect married people to stay married?" She surely would have thrown herself down the stairs.
I was so ready to send this kids to camp. We really signed them up for camp FOR THEM. I went to sleep away camp when I was 13 and it was an amazing experience. I always wanted to spend every summer at Camp Anawanna. It's a 90s kid thing.
I showed them the video and they were pumped. They have water activities at the lake, archery, horses, crafts, a climbing wall. Lots of kids. It looked like a lot of fun. As a bonus, my husband and I get time to ourselves away from the kids.
The longest we ever went away together without the kids was for our 10th wedding anniversary and it was less than 48 hours. Which is fine, we get small breaks from the kids but we've never had six days.
I have been so ready. The kids about did me in this week. My oldest is much less combative than my youngest but she has a crap attitude. The mornings are horrible. I seriously don't want to be around her in the morning. This morning was especially bad. She was bitching because she was awoken at 9 am. I'm sorry that I have s**t to do and that the house can't be completely quiet to accommodate your rest that you obviously need because you work soooooo hard. Can you feel me rolling my eyes?
My youngest is just a bat out of hell with that mouth of hers. Her attitude has gotten progressively worse. It's an age thing and a hormone thing. Uggggh! She was annoying the piss out of me the other day. We have a rule that during the day, our dog has to stay downstairs. We keep a baby gate up. At night, she sleeps upstairs in her cage. The reason for this rule is because my dog loves to poop in my youngest daughters room.
If she is allowed to go upstairs, that's what she does. My youngest feels bad for the dog when the dog is downstairs and she lets the damn dog upstairs during the day when I'm not paying attention or out. I've told her many times to keep her door shut at all times and that if the dog goes in her room, she is responsible to pick it up.
Lo and behold, the other day I was putting laundry in her room and I saw a giant turd on her rug. I called her in. "I told you to keep the door shut and to leave the dog downstairs." She looked at me like she I was crazy and said, "I don't know how that happened. I keep the door closed. Maybe the dog opened it." I looked at her and said, "Are you telling me the dog needed to take a crap so she came upstairs, stood on her hind legs, opened your door and decided This looks like a good place to poop, and then did it right here on the floor?"
She thought about what I had just said. Then she replied, "Yes."
I was so steamed. "You are going to pick up this poop."
"No, I'm not."
"I'm not doing it. You WILL do it."
I don't remember what happened after that, but I didn't follow through because I am a crappy parent. That turd was still there the next day. UNACCEPTABLE. We went head to head and I had to yell and scream and be a crazy person but she did finally pick up the poop. Not willingly. She was crying the whole time about it, swearing up and down that the dog opened the door herself. That was her story and she was sticking to it.
This morning, we finished packing and had a nice lunch together. Then, we loaded into the car to make the hour and fifteen minute drive to camp. We pulled in past cabins with kids and it was situated right on Lake Marion. We waited to check in and the kids were being such jagoffs. Their arms were crossed and they were scowling. My oldest was like, "I can't believe that you are going to just leave us here. You are just trying to get rid of us." My youngest echoed those sentiments.
I was not feeling bad for them. If I could afford boarding school, I'd send them off. These kids are making me crazy. We checked them in and headed to their dorms. There were lots of bunk beds and kids. Their counselors introduced themselves. It was fine. They seemed a little more relaxed but they were still mad. I hugged my oldest goodbye and she didn't reciprocate. She kept her arm crossed. My youngest hugged me but gave me an "I don't like you" look.
I was over it. I was like:
We walked back to the car with no kids.
I love my kids. I know I talk trash on them now and again but in general, I enjoy them. They are good people and when everyone has their attitude in check, we have a nice time. That being said, I am so looking forward to not having to shuffle kids around, clean up their messes, cook their meals, and be insulted by them. My husband and deserve some date nights and alone time. We work hard and we literally pour all of our time and resources into the children. We are not going to feel bad about it.
I do kind of miss them already, though.
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