I have been spending WAY too much money on groceries lately. I used to be so good and clip coupons and make my plan and stick to it, but this year I have been out of control. I have a shopping problem. A grocery shopping problem. I walk around that store and pick out stuff like I'm a Rockefeller, like I have money to burn.
I still make my plan so we have stuff for meals but I will walk around and be like "These $6 bags of apples look delish", "This Publix recipe look yummy - let me buy $20 worth of ingredients for one meal." Well, if you do that enough times you overspend big time. Ugggh. Then I get to the register and I am always nervous.
This is me watching the screen as the groceries ring up:
I am always SHOCKED that it is so much money. Then when I drive home I start to hate myself and think, "I should have just planned for us to have grilled cheese and tomato soup instead of salmon in a white-wine artichoke and sun dried tomato sauce." Who do I think I am? Jamie Oliver? The sad thing is - we eat out AT LEAST one night a week and we pay for the kids to get school lunch. It's really becoming unacceptable.
I do only shop at Publix and people are always like, "Just shop at Walmart." I just can't do it. I am a Publix snob. I am not ashamed to say it. I have been going to the same Publix every week for the past 5 years and I know all the people that work there. The produce man asks about the kids. They always are so helpful. I love Publix. HARD. What the price is there is what I pay. Its just the way it is.
I am going to try REALLY hard this week to do better. I have considered leaving my debit card at home and just bringing cash or writing inspirational money-saving quotes and taping them to my grocery list. I mean, really - I am out of control. I need help. I have a problem.
I have been having a silverware issue at my house within the past few weeks. It probably has been the past few months, or years and I am just starting to realize it now because it has become an urgent issue. The silverware has slowly been disappearing from the house. My husband was the first person to realize this. He was flipping out about it one day. I was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast and he's like, "WHY ARE THERE NO CLEAN FORKS? WHERE DID THEY GO?" He was so annoyed. I looked at him like he had 2 heads, "Honey, if I knew where all the silverware was don't you think that we wouldn't be having this conversation? Do you think I have a secret stash where I hide all the forks and spoons?" He sighed, exasperated, and then just washed some forks. The four remaining ones. I told him I would buy some silverware but I didn't. I don't exactly have all the time in the world to be worrying about silverware. I barely can get to the grocery store on a weekly basis.
On Sunday, I had my sister and her family and my dad over for dinner and even though we cleaned all of the forks in the house - there wasn't enough for everybody. So I ate dinner with an appetizer fork. LMAO. That is not a lie. The sad thing is, I only have one of those left. I sat and ate my dinner with my little 2 inch fork. It was sad. But still, I did not buy silverware because by the next day it was off of my radar of priorities. I finally snapped earlier this week when I came home for lunch and found myself eating a pudding with an ice tea spoon.
I thought, What am I doing? I am eating off of an ice tea spoon. I have hit rock bottom. This is a trashy experience. I can afford silverware, I'm going to buy some this week.
That's what I did. I purchased silverware. My husband was so excited. You would have thought I had purchased him a game system. He was like, "Thank you soooo much!" I beamed, "I know, I am so excited! Now we don't have to eat with appetizer forks anymore!!!" It's the simple things in life that excite us so.
I am not feeling confident that the silverware will stop disappearing. Who knows where is goes? It's probably in Lost-Things-Limbo along with all of the socks, earring backs, headbands and various other items that magically go missing in our house. Whatever.
Tomorrow I am turning 29. The first day of the last year of my 20's. I am excited about it. I don't mind getting older - as long as I still look good. Once I start looking raggedy, then we have a problem. I feel like 29 is still so young. I feel (God willing) that I have my whole life ahead of me. I could write books or paint or go back to school or take up quilting - do whatever I want to do. The world is my oyster! I am half way done raising my children. In 10 years I'll have a kid in college and a 17 year old and I won't even be 40 - that's classic.
I feel like there is such a high expectation to do something amazing on one's birthday. I am not a big birthday person. I won't do anything special. I do have a dentist appointment - which means free toothbrush for me! Holla! We will buy Chinese food for dinner so I won't have to cook. I purchased a little Carvel cake. My husband agreed to take the kids to school in the morning tomorrow. Thank goodness! I don't feel like yelling at the kids on my birthday. They have been especially grumpy this week. I am so over it.
Well, it's 8:10 which means it's 10 minutes past my bed time. Now THAT makes me feel old!
I had a super busy week. I mean I was booked up by the minute. On Monday I had a meeting after work and my husband tried to kill himself by accident, I was out of town Tuesday, I cleaned up my house a little Wednesday, Thursday evening was family math night, and I was hosting my cousin for dinner Friday evening.
On Friday morning, I surveyed the house it wasn't a good scene. It wasn't filthy it just was messy. I cleaned my car out earlier in the week and by cleaned my car out, I mean I took all the crap from the backseat of the car and put it in a pile in the corner of the living room. There was 1,000s if homework papers everywhere. It was not up to my standards. I needed to get home by 4:45 to clean and put dinner together. I can so do this, I thought.
So I'm at work and I pull my calendar and I realize my cousin's bridal shower is this weekend. I usually buy something scandalous and inappropriate for people when they are getting married (because I am scandalous and inappropriate) but I will be with my kids all weekend and won't have a chance to go to the store so I need to go after work. The pressure is on. I was trying to leave work on time because I needed every minute I had. Of course, I got caught up in a phone call and left 10 minutes late.
I went to this adult store on the way to the kids after school program. It's on a really busy street and I was trying to be incognito. You can't go into one of those stores without feeling like some kind of creepy pervert. I walked in and this 18 year old stopped me at the door and asked for my ID. Really? I have been old enough to go in this store since you were in the first grade kid. I am OLD - stop wasting my minute. I have limited time. This place was like a huge. I was very overwhelmed and it took me longer than I wanted to make a selection. Now I am really pressed for time.
I pick up the kids. Try to get home. Traffic sucks. I walk into my messy house at 5:10. I have 20 minutes to clean the house and make dinner. So I start prepping dinner and started cleaning like a mad woman. I only had 10 minutes until her ETA and I was not making great progress. In my desperation, I took a large trashbag and put everything in it. Homework papers, magazines, car crap, forks, shoes - everything. I went room to room. I then took this bag of crap and shoved it in an upstairs bedroom. I swept quickly and arranged the lighting so the house was kind of dim because I didn't have time to dust. I lit a candle and let out a sigh of relief. She knocked on the door just a few minutes later and I welcomed her in. Welcome to myillusion of a clean house, I thought. We are really slobs but want to put up this facade that our home isalways clean. I do want to keep up that illusion. I want people to think I can do it all. For some reason I feel like my worth as a person -a wife, a mother - is reflected in how clean my house is. My house is only clean 10% of the time. That is my secret. My skeleton in the closet - or should I say, my trash bag full of crap in my closet. Speaking of which, I am going to go through that bag now and put everything back in it's place. I am sure it will find it's way to the living room floor again someday soon. I can't wait for that!
Yesterday was a crazy day. Work, PTA meeting, homework with the kids. My husband came home just as I was starting dinner. He kissed me and told me he was going to go upstairs to get changed and then help me with dinner. The kids followed him upstairs like little puppy dolls.
I am just standing at the stove stirring pasta when I hear this noise. Thump, Thump, Thump and what sounded like the kids throwing dishes down the stairs. Glass shattering. Then I hear this this blood curdling scream come out of my daughter. This scream of horror. I run over and my husband is halfway down the stairs and there is glass everywhere, all around him. There was blood on his side, on his legs, running down his arm, all over the stairs and smeared on the wall. It looked like a murder scene. He wouldn't move. My daughter is still screaming. I can't go to him because there were glass shards everywhere. I thought this man was going to bleed out in front of me. I was looking around to see what I could use for a tourniquet. It looked like his wrist was slit. In in my head I was thinking Please don't go into the light. I was freaking out.
I was like, "You need to go to the hospital. You lost a lot of blood." My daughter stopped and rolled her eyes and said, "It's not blood mom - it's ice cream." What the hell? Apparently my kids had ice sundaes upstairs that my husband has made with strawberry and chocolate syrup and he was bringing down the bowls when he slipped, the bowls fell and the syrup splatter everywhere. They should use chocolate and strawberry mix in horror films because it looked like real blood. He was hurting but he got up and blood was pouring out of his wrist. A trail of blood. "Honey - you slit your wrist. We need to have that looked at." He didn't slit his wrist but was really close. A half inch to the right and he would have gashed right through the veins on his wrist.
He wrapped it up and applied pressure, like no big deal. It was a huge gash. It needed stitches. But no - he's not going to the hospital. "It's fine. I'll be good." We only had Barbie bandaids so he applied them to the area. We went out and got more appropriate dressings and antibiotic. "You need stitches - you are going to get a huge scar, you might get sepsis." He rolled his eyes at me. Whatever. If he gets gangrene it's his own fault. He is going to have a nasty scar. People are going to think it's a suicide attempt gone wrong.
It took an hour to clean the stairs. Dinner was ruined because I neglected it during this escapade. So we ordered pizza and had a "thank-goodness-dad-didn't-die" party. Then all was right with the world.
It's been a weird week. I am exhausted. This is the first full week I've worked since mid December and it felt sooooo LONG. We did have some fun things happen this week though. A girlfriend of mine came over on Thursday night. I answered the door and she said, "I'm here to give you my crabs." WHOA - I didn't know we were friends like that. I forgot I had offered to babysit her hermit crabs while she was out of state. I always agree to do stuff like that and then forget about it.
She brought in this cage and explained to me how to feed them and make them drink. "They are really boring. You really just need to make sure they have food and water once a week." Hermit crabs are the perfect pet for lazy people and lazy pet babysitters. My kids are loving the hermit crabs. They take them out and make them have races. They let them crawl up their arms while they are watching TV. They are obsessed with them. I am freaked out though because I don't like to be in charge of other people's stuff. I've been giving the kids pep talks, "Guys, we cannot let the hermit crabs die. Be really careful and don't lose them for Gods sake!" It's only been 3 days but so far, so good.
In other news, the weather around here has been kind of crazy. We usually are in the 40s and 50s in January but yesterday it was 80 degrees. It was hot. I broke down and turned on the air conditioning because even with the windows open the house was really warm. The kids put on their swimsuits and ran in the sprinklers. We played outside and rode bikes and blew bubbles and had an awesome time. It will be in the high 70s through Monday. I am loving it. I hate the cold weather. I grew up in the Northeast and I still can remember the cold weather still so vividly. The type of cold that chills to the bone, still having to wear a winter coat in April. Ugggh! My blood is much to thin now. If it is under 60 - it is too cold for me!
After our day of fun in the sun, we spent the evening ice skating. We live 1/2 a mile away from an ice skating rink and on Fridays and Saturdays they have this deal where you gets admission, skate rental for 4 people as well as a large pizza and 2 pitchers of soda for $33. That's cheap as hell. We bundled up and headed over and got our skates on and hit the ice. We probably go ice skating every 3 months but every time I step onto the ice I get freaked out a little. If you have never feared for your life - go ice skating for the first time. The ice seems so hard - I just imagine my big hard body hitting it at full force. I can ice skate. I'm no Nancy Kerrigan but I can go forward in a loop at a normal speed without wiping out. I don't know what was up with my husband. He was riding the wall with a look of fear in this eyes. I was laughing so hard. He was like, "Thanks for laughing at me." I kissed him, "You're lame. I mean that in a very loving way." He made his way around once and then opted to watch. My youngest had a walker and was just wizzing around like she owned the place. My oldest is a really good skater but she lacks confidence. She will skate but she needs to be on the outside near the wall and if anyone skates past her she gets completely freaked out. We skated for almost 2 hours until this lady skated right into my 8 year old and caused her to fall out. She was pretty much done. We packed up and headed home. It was a great day. I need more relaxing Saturdays like this and less Sundays waking up at 5:30 am.
My kids must have saved up all of their craziness while we were at Disney and they have been unleashing it big time this week. They have been bickering with each other constantly. On Sunday my oldest was sitting on the floor drawing a picture and her sister sat down next to her and was just watching her draw. Not touching her, not saying anything, not sitting on her, not breathing on her. My 8 year old screamed, "Mom, get her away. She is bothering me." "She's not doing anything." "She's watching me and I don't want her to watch me." I told her to go into the other room if she wants to be alone. She chose not to do that. She chose instead to shove her sister. Big mistake. I have warned my oldest daughter many times not to touch her sister. She may be much bigger but my 6 year old is a little crazy and she will seriously hurt someone. I would not win a cage match with my 6 year old. She reminds me of Scrappy Doo.
As soon as she shoved her sister a war broke out. They were rolling on the ground. Screaming, pulling hair. My youngest was trying to bite my oldest's head. It was serious. I was trying to break them up and getting kicked. I was screaming at them. SCREAMING. Like a crazy lady. I hate yelling at my kids. I will be nice but if my requests or ignored or I get kicked, I pretty much lose it. This is me screaming at the kids:
I can't take the fighting. Let's be nice and pick flowers together and be polite so I don't have to yell. Is that too much to ask?
Yesterday was hellish. I was so excited to see the kids after a long day of work and when we got home the kids wanted to watch a show on Netflix. Normally, my rule is NO television Monday-Thursday but I have been bending the rules around Christmas time. We need to get back in the routine and I said, "No TV - go outside, ride bikes, blow bubbles, play with toys, do art. Do what you want - but no TV." You would have thought I denied them dinner. I got verbally berated. I was told that I was a horrible mom, worst mom ever, that I hate them, that I only care about myself, and that I never want them to have any fun. So again, I screamed but I did not give in. I am not being guilt-ed by elementary school children. What a load of crap. They bugged me for an hour. "Can I watch something educational? Just one show? PLEAASSSEEEE MOM!" My kids underestimate my ability to put up with a large amount of annoying sounds and whining. It was horrible. I was so happy when it was bedtime.
So today after work, I did not pick them up early. In fact, I am not picking them up until 5. Hell, I pay for them to be in Latchkey until 6. I might just have a cup of coffee and read a magazine. Because I am the worst mom ever that only cares about myself.
Someone came over and took a video of my kids, check it out:
So we are finally back from our vacation. The bags have been unpacked, the laundry had been washed, the Christmas decorations have been put away and today I went back to work. Boo. I wish vacation could last forever. We had an amazing time at Disney - my daughter did not vomit the whole time and we went on a ton of awesome rides and ate amazing food and it was great.
But I wouldn't be me without some ranting and ravings, so let them commence.
Big Kids in Strollers:
I cannot even tell you how many 6,7,8,9 year olds I saw in strollers at Disney. Literally, full grown children with their feet dragging on the ground. What. the. hell. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not judging the parents. I myself can relate to wanting to be completely lazy and not have to keep track of my kids or take stops along the way but it's just not right. Yeah, walking around for hours sucks. It kind of hurts your feet. You are not a toddler anymore kid, the good part of your life is over, get out of the stroller and walk for God's sake!
Waiting in Line:
I hate waiting in lines. In order to avoid this we got to Disney when the parks opened and always left around lunch when the whole state of Florida showed up for the theme parks. We were walking by rides that had 120+ wait times. That is just craziness. What is this, the DMV? Thankfully my kids are the same way. The line to meet Ariel was an hour and a half long. They were like, "No thanks! I don't even like the Little Mermaid that much." The only way I'm standing in line for an hour and a half to meet Ariel is if she is giving out $100 bills.
Food at Disney:
Did we just pay $34.12 for 3 muffins, a bagel, a fruit cup, 3 chocolate milks and an orange juice? Well, yes. Yes, we did.
Biergarten and Human Trafficking:
The day we went to Epcot we had dinner reservations for this restaurant called Biergarten. It was a German Buffet. This place was over the top. You walk in and the inside feels like you are in a small German village (well, Disney's version of a German village). In the center was a stage with men in lederhosen playing the accordion. They had bean salad, cucumber salad in a dill sauce, tomato salad, roasted chicken, fish in mustard sauce, sauerkraut and brats, roasted chicken, roasted veggies, potato dumplings, roast beef, macaroni, pretzel bread. They had chocolate cake, pudding, apple strudel with a vanilla cream sauce. Oh my God! This place was amazing.
Our server was from Germany, as was the sever at the table next to us and the guy that took our reservation. They were all legit German people. When we ate at the Irish Pub the performers were from Ireland. They had people from Africa doing African music in the Animal Kingdom. This all seems pretty suspect. How to they get these people anyway? Is there some Disney head hunter that goes around the world and brings these people back? Do you want to come to America and scrape food off of the plates of tourists? There is some forced labor going on. It seems kind of creepy if you ask me.
Bathing Suits:
The last night in Orlando, we stayed at a Hotel right out side of Disney that had an indoor pool. I thought it would be fun for the kids. Until I realized that when I packed my bathing suit, I only actually packed two bathing suit tops. So we stopped at Target so I could buy a bathing suit. That was horrible. Apparently, Target didn't get the message that 1/2 of American women are obese (maybe not 1/2...but whatever) and they had all 2 pieces. I would find the bottoms in small but the matching tops only in large. It was annoying. I finally brought this Spanx bathing suit for $50 - which is way too much for a bathing suit, if you ask me. It was a one piece and it has a skirt, which made me happy. Any day I don't have to shave my bikini line is a good day.
Ramada:
So I made reservations at this hotel outside of Disney. It had an indoor pool and a breakfast buffet and was one of the less expensive hotels in the area at $100 a night. The pictures were great.
But, no. It was not good at all. If Disney is where the dreams that you wish come true, then the Ramada Maingate West is where those dreams come to die. It wasn't a complete dump but it was not far above it. The sheets were clean, which was a plus. The room smelled weird. The bottom of the bathroom door looked like someone had chewed on it. The kids liked the pool but it was dark as a cave. The chairs were made out of PVC pipes. The whole place has potential, it just needs an update bad. The next morning, we got up to go to the breakfast buffet. I put on my shoes and was ready to go. My husband asked, "Aren't you going to get dressed?" No -no I'm not. We paid a $100 for this trashy hotel and I am going to embrace the trashiness and go eat breakfast in my pajamas. I love when I can embrace the white trash woman inside of me. :)
New Years Vomit:
We drove to Cape Canaveral for New Years Eve. I hung out with my aunts, uncle, cousin and her baby. We walked on the beach and collected shells. We had dinner together. After dinner my youngest was having some major stomach issues, so she went to bed early. I was not going to make it until midnight but at 11:30 pm my daughter had this huge vomit (I don't know what's up with her random vomiting). It was bright red and I was freaking out. I thought it was blood. Alas, it was not blood. It was simply Twizzlers.
That smell was enough to keep me up until midnight! She was happy after she threw up and we all counted down together.
