The Dreams That You Wish

                                        

 Why am I blogging right now? Aren't I supposed to be on a family vacation at Disney? Well, I am alone in my hotel room with a sleeping child. Our Disney trip has been an adventure so far. We left early yesterday morning. The kids were soooo excited. They could barely contain themselves. It was raining when we left and it rained all the way down. Our 6 hour trip turned into 8. For about 2 hours of our trip we drove through torrential rain. It was so bizarre - it would be clear for 2 minutes and then for 30 minutes you could barely see the road. It was scary because you either drove through it or pulled over and risk being rear-ended by a semi truck. The kids were napping during this down pour thank goodness because I'm sure I would have freaked them out with my craziness. I was so anxious - my husband was driving and I was practically chewing on the dash board. At one point I was reciting "Our Father" out loud - which I'm sure was very unnerving to my husband. We got here alive which was awesome!

We show up to the resort and it is beautiful and fun and our room has Mickey mouse blankets and carpet. There is Mickey Mouse on the soap and a huge Mickey right outside our room. We went to Downtown Disney last night and shopped and ate at this Irish restaurant. They had live music - traditional Irish musical with a fiddle. They had dancers to watch while we ate. It was like River Dance. They pulled the girls up on stage with some other kids and taught them some dances. It was truly an experience! When we got back we were pooped and ready for bed. However, our room key did not work at all. We waited in the cold for 30 minutes for someone to let us in. We finally drifted off to sleep.

We woke up super early this morning and loaded the bus for the Magic Kingdom. We got there at 7 am and it felt like we had the whole park to ourselves. The girls heard a story with Belle, went to the new Little Mermaid ride, we rode Space Mountain, the rockets, the tea cups, the Jungle Cruise, Magic Carpets, Pirates of the Carribean. We pretty much had no wait at all - we just walked on the rides. It was awesome and very magical! By noon it was getting crowded so we decided to go back to the resort and take a nap and chill out for the afternoon. We had a 6:30 reservation so we planned to go back for dinner, ride a few more rides, watch a parade and end the night with fireworks. The perfect end to the perfect day.

The kids napped for a few hours and we packed up to go back for an evening of fun! As soon as we walked back into the park my youngest daughter complained of a tummy ache. I assumed she was crampy from being hungry so we headed straight for the restaurant. It was PACKED. We sat down and got drinks and they served us rolls and salad. My daughter sat in my lap eating bread and that's when it happened. A heave - I knew vomit was coming. It's amazing how many thoughts can go through ones head in a split second because I thought - how am I going to avoid her getting this vomit all over herself and not ruin everyone else's magical Disney dining experience? So I turn her and lean her forward and I cup my hand under her mouth to catch the vomit. Right at the dinner table. A little got on the floor but most of it was in my hand. She didn't even have a spot on her face. I calmly emptied my vomit-y hand into a napkin and covered the floor with another napkin. Then we walked over to the bathroom. My poor baby had tears streaming down her face. I patted down her face and lips with a wet cloth and we washed out her mouth. We went back the the table. My hubby looked grossed out.

"I am going to take her back. You guys have a fun time." I kissed my oldest and I carried my little one back to the buses. As we walked we watched Cinderellas castle all lit up and it began to "snow". There were performers in the street. She laid her head on my shoulder. When we got back to the hotel room, I stripped her down to get in the shower. I was a little bit disappointed that we were missing the evening with the other half of the family. My daughter said to me, "Mom - this was the best day ever....except for when I puked." I kissed the top of her head, "What was your favorite part?" She thought for a moment - I expected her to say the rides or the princess or the food. She said, "Just being with my family." So sweet.

I ask everyone to please say a prayer of healing for my child so that she can enjoy the rest of our vacation. Because even in the most perfect, magical place of earth - vomit can still happen.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

                       

Christmas Eve is here again. I sure hope my children are behaved today. Yesterday they were demons. I was sooo disappointed. What kids wakes up and thinks, "Gee, Santa Claus is coming tomorrow night - this would be the perfect time to  act like a complete a-hole!" My kids -that's who. I have PTSD from dealing with them yesterday. Yikes.

I sure hope today is better. Christmas Eve is my favorite. I love these few days because I am reminded of the happy parts of my childhood as we honor many of the same traditions that I had growing up. We always ate Shrimp Scampi on Christmas Eve. I make it now. Yesterday my 6 year old offered to peel the shrimp with me and we sat and talked and peeled. I recall sitting with my father to do so. He would ask me to help and I obliged because I knew I could sneak a few to eat. My daughter asked me, " How did you learn to cook?" "From my father." "How did he learn to cook?" "From his mother, I imagine." "How did she learn to cook?" "From her mother, I think. Her mother died when she was young." My daughter sat and thought about this for a moment. "Will you teach me how to cook?" I smiled and said, "Of course. Maybe when you are grown and have children of your own - you can cook Christmas dinner and mom and dad will come eat at your house." She pondered this and then said, "No - I think my family will just come to your house and you can cook for us." That's my lazy child not even going to commit to cook for me 25 years from now. Although- I will be happy to do it. I imagine a house full of grandchildren at Christmas will  bring me great joy some day. I just hope my kids don't start as early as I did. :)

We will spend the day relaxing. Maybe I'll get a nap. We will go to church and then have dinner with my father and my sisters, my brother-in-law and my niece and nephew. When we come home we will drink hot chocolate and roast marshmellows and weenies in the fireplace. We will watch a Christmas Story. We will track Santa Claus and we will put the kids to bed early.

Tonight, my husband and I will play Santa as we have many times before. I will drink half of the milk and take bites of the cookie. My husband will unload the gifts from the garage. We will stuff stockings. We will chew carrots and spit them onto the front lawn. I will write a letter to the girls in Santa's hand. We will put a log in the fireplace and music in the CD player for the next morning. We will both be absolutely giddy as we stand back and admire our work. We will count our blessings.

I hope to find ourselves under the mistletoe. It is such a rare event in our house that both kids are sleeping and we are both awake. The best gifts in life are free!

I wish everyone a wonderful, magical, safe Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you in 2013!

Christmas Gifts for My Husband

Yesterday my girls and I went to Target to pick out a Christmas gift for my husband. We didn't have a plan about what to get him. Well, that's only partly true - I was going to buy him socks. I went through his sock drawer this week and was shocked at what I saw. His socks are so bad that if I gave them to homeless people they would be offended. All of his socks are gray and they were not gray when they were purchased. I'm sure he doesn't even notice. So top of the list was socks. My daughters wanted to get him pajamas - they are on a pajama thing right now. We could not figure out anything else to get him. He likes video games but he has a Gamefly account, he has every game console you could want. Wii, XBOX, Kinect....a bunch of others. Whatever. He doesn't really have time to do extra things - so he doesn't have hobbies really. He goes to work, comes home and plays with the kids and helps me get them to bed, he watches some show on Netflix and then goes to bed. That sums up our days, pretty much. We are both so LAME. So we are walking around Target clueless and finally we just gave up and purchased a gift card so that he can buy something he wants.

When I got home I said to him, "You are really hard to buy for." He shrugged, "I don't want anything for Christmas." "Well, I almost got you a TV. They are selling a 32 inch at Target for $249." His eyes got big. "That's a good price. I mean - we paid $500 for this TV." I turned and looked at our little sad 19-inch TV with some damage at the bottom of the screen. "That TV is 7 years old, how did we have $500 for a TV? Weren't we poor?" He laughed, "That's when we had credit cards." Credit cards....how I miss thee. We cut up our credit cards 6 years ago and have had the policy of "If you don't have cash, you don't buy it." Because of this we are very deliberate. We are not the kind of people who buy TVs on a whim. My husband has been asking for a new TV for the past 18 months. Our TV is 7 years old and it's small. I love that TV, though. We paid $500 for it in 2006. It was flat screen and had a built in DVD player and it was a fancy TV for it's time. Now it's kind of sad. Something happened to the bottom of the screen and according to my husband the back light is going out. I am the kind of person that doesn't replace things until they are completely unusable - so I have resisted. But last night he looked at me with big eyes and guilt tripped me and finally I caved. I didn't go with him. I hate to see money exchanged OUT of our bank account.

When he got home there was a brightness in his eyes and a spring in his step. He looked like a kid in a candy store. He got a bigger, more expensive TV then the one I had talked out. I didn't even bitch about it. I smiled and said, "Wow! It's a really nice TV. It's HUGE" and then I added, "This is your Christmas and birthday present for the next 2 years." He laughed. He put it together immediately. The kids we soooo excited. We turned off the lights and watched a Christmas Carol. The kids were like, "This is like being at the movie theater." My husband curled up next to me. "Thanks for letting me buy a TV." I am glad that he is happy. He works REALLY hard and he deserves a little reward. Santa will be impressed, he may want to sit down while delivering the gifts and watch a Christmas Carol himself!

Art at My House

My children are talented artists. My 6 year old won 2nd place in a youth art competition at the fair recently. My oldest is extremely talented as well. I know I am bragging but I am not going to apologize about it.  All over my house - counter tops, kitchen tables, desks, stairs, there are papers with sketches. They just draw all the time. My oldest carries a sketch book with her and just draws random things she comes across. The art of my children are much different. My oldest drew this:

She also drew this:

I was reading the paper and she was sitting at her desk. "Whatcha drawing?" She was like, "A heart." I thought she meant a cartoon heart. But she was illustrating and labeling the anatomy of the human heart. Just like any normal 8 year old would. I love this kid. She is going to be a scientist.

My youngest daughter goes for more light-hearted subject matter:

I love this gorilla for instance. I could not draw a gorilla like this. I would love to hang it on my fridge, but there is just one little problem. THIS is the whole picture:

Yes, the gorilla is farting someone's face. I like how she added the speech bubble with the girl screaming - it really adds to the overall affect of the picture.

These kids are amazing.

Christmas Presents

A week from today will be Christmas Day. We are so excited! The kids are pretty wound up about it. You would think they would be acting like perfect angels since Santa is coming in just a few days - but not so much. They try though. They get an A for effort....okay, sometimes a B or a C but mostly an A.

The shopping is done, the presents are wrapped. The stocking stuffers are stashed away. Now we can enjoy the good stuff. I know a lot of people dread Christmas. The hustle and bustle, the crowded malls, the inevitable weight gain. I try not to participate in those aspects of Christmas and focus on the good stuff.

We have not always had the funds for a ton of gifts. For my oldest daughters 1st Christmas we literally only has $15 to spend on Christmas. My husband and I dubbed that our "Dollar Store Christmas". We got $5 to spend at the dollar store. For my daughter she got a rattle and a stuffed bear. We had a riot opening gifts. "Honey - I love this spatula you got me." I got him a pair of black socks and car cleaning stuff. We decorated our pipe cleaner Christmas tree we had purchased from Family Dollar 2 years prior and we baked cookies. It was actually a wonderful Christmas, one of my favorites. 

We limit the gifts for the children still. Every year they buy a gift for each other and a gift for mom and dad. They get 4 presents on Christmas morning- one is usually from my husband and I and the rest from Santa. The get something they want, something they need, something to play with and something to read. This year they both need pajamas and will get a new pair. My oldest will get the new Dork Diary book and my youngest will get Where the Sidewalk Ends. My oldest will get a science kit with a microscope to play with and my youngest a telescope. She told me she wants to "look at the constellations." In the summer she would   make us all look at the stars. We would spread out a comforter on the driveway and the 4 of us would gaze at the stars and look for the North Star and little and big dipper. I'm sure the neighbors thought we were insane but we made some great memories! The thing that they want - now that is a big gift this year. For years they have been asking us to go to Disney World. It is a very expensive vacation and we are very busy with work and the kids with school and it never seemed to be the right time. 

Last January they asked again about Disney World and it occurred to me that this is the perfect time. I always knew that if we were going to do Disney -we were going to do it big. I wanted to stay on the resort and go for 5 days and have sit down meals and not have to worry about packing snacks and just be able to have fun with the kids. We would not go into debt to do Disney- it needed to be paid for before we went. I just wanted to go and enjoy it. We booked the trip in February. The cool thing about Disney is that when you book with them you can essentially put it on Layaway. You do a deposit and then you have a certain amount of time to pay it off. We are so excited about it!

The children don't know we are going. For their 4th gift, I purchased suitcases with their names embroidered on them. We hid clues inside that they will have to unwrap. We'll say, "Surprise! We are leaving for Disney World tomorrow!" They have no clue. We have been planning activities to do over Christmas break because they think I am taking off work to putz around the house with them. They are really going to be over the moon. It has been a hard, long year - I have been away from them far more than I would have liked. We all deserve a little vacation. 

The presents will be nice to have and the kids will be overjoyed to go to Disney - but the biggest and most favorite part of the day will be the time spent with family. 

On Children

When you are getting ready to have your first child, people tell you how amazing it is and how much you are going to love them. You think, "Of course, I'm going to love them-they are my child." But when they are born   you understand what they meant. Parents love their children but not in the same way that they knew love before. Think about the person or thing that you love the most and multiply that by a million. We love our children with a fierceness that is almost hard to explain. We make huge sacrifices for our children and are glad to do it. It is in our core being to ensure that they survive and thrive. Because children are so much more than little beings that we feed and care for. They are everything. They become our entire world and more. 

It is often said that to have a child is to have your heart walk around outside your body. There has never been a truer statement said. We pour our hopes and dreams into our children and their hopes and dreams become our own. We share in their disappointments. We wipe tears and we celebrate achievements (no matter how big or small). We build our life around them. Our children are a reflection of our future. I imagine high school prom and graduation. Packing them up to go to college. My husband walking them down the aisle. Seeing the joy in their faces when one day they have children of their own. No matter what I do in life, my daughters will always be my biggest achievements. I could cure cancer and it wouldn't pale in comparison to making 2 amazing human beings. Our children are our lives.

I feel so affected by the recent tragedy in Connecticut. If it had been adults I would have been sad but not like I have been feeling. Since I have become a parent I have been much more affected by things like this. When something bad happens to a child - for a moment- that child becomes my child. It is a very powerful feeling. A feeling of sadness and fear so deep inside of you that it shakes your core. It could have been my children, or yours or any of the millions of children that went to school yesterday. You wonder what it would be like, not just your child taken from you...but your hopes and dreams and future. It is almost an unimaginable proposition. It is a reminder that our children are really ours - they are lent to us and that tomorrow is not a promise.

To be given a child is a gift and a huge responsibility. We need to hold our children tighter and tell them that we love them everyday. We need to give them praise and build them up because the world and life will tear them down. We need to raise children that are connected to the world and to others. Who will grow up to do no harm and make their world a better place. I believe that is the calling of all parents. 

A lady I used to work with had this posted on her desk and it holds so much meaning today:

 To my child . . . . .

Just for this morning . . . . .
I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning . . . . .
I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning . . . . .
I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning . . . . .
I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon . . . . .
I will take us to Mc Donald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening . . . . .
I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening . . . . .
I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening . . . . .
I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening . . . . .
I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening . . . .
When I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.

It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day 

Holy Puberty, Batman!

Last week I was re-certified in CPR. They were talking about doing infant CPR up until age 1 and child CPR up until age 8 and then after age 8, one would do adult CPR because kids start puberty around age 8. I gawked and thought it was a ludicrous statement. After all, I have an 8 1/2 year old child. So I was laughing about this to my husband and family members and I have jinxed myself because apparently some kids do start puberty at age 8. This became very apparent to me earlier this week. I have been freaking out. Reading my textbooks at work, blowing up the google. It's a pretty long process, thankfully. They all say when X starts, then it's X amount of years until X starts, and then X amount of years until the curse and then X amount of years until they reach their adult height. Uggggh. 

I am really upset about it. A sadness that I can't put into words. A sadness and mourning in the pit of my stomach. My husband is trying to be really supportive. He's like, "Over the next 4 years our daughter will blossom into a young woman." I shot him a mean look. "Isn't that what you women say when you talk about these things? You're supposed to use words like "blossom" and flowers. It's a metaphor." Oh-my-God. Stop talking. "It's just that, she's our baby, you know?" He tries to speak to me rationally, "But she's not a baby anymore. She's a big kid. Be happy and excited - it's okay. Kids grow up. It's not an unexpected thing." This is coming from the guy that had a full mustache at age 12. He hugged me. I sighed deep. 

She is a big kid. She is up to my shoulder. She will be taller than me soon. I just didn't think she would grow up so quick. It makes me feel panicked. I mean, we are almost halfway there - she will be 9 this year and in 9 more years she we be getting ready to go to college. I am starting to realize that the next 9 years will go just as fast as the last. Is the best half over already? I am not ready. 

It will be okay. My husband will have a movie day with my youngest and I will take my daughter training bra shopping and out to lunch and make it a fun day. We will talk. Nothing will be new and earth shattering. We have prepared the kids always so that we never had to have a big "talk". I work in women's health and so I talk ho-hum about things. The kids know that as they get bigger they grow body hair, and boobs and get periods. It's just normal conversation in my house. They will give me disgusted looks, "Mom, you really need to shave your underarms." I just laugh and say, "That's going to be you in 6 years." Body hair.....acne.....it's glamorous. Turning into an adult is weird and awkward and embarrassing. I mean, the word puberty itself is cringe-worthy. I will vote that medical books change the term to Blossoming Time - my husband is right, it does have a much nicer ring to it. I will buy the American Doll book about taking care of your body. I will post "No Boys Allowed" signs in my front yard. Yeah, I can do this. 

Christmas Cards

Christmas is two weeks away and I haven't sent out Christmas cards yet - which pretty much means that s**t is not going to happen this year. I did a half assed job last year. Every year I tell myself that I'm going to do better- but I never do. I always tell my husband that the holidays sneak up on me. Which is such a total cop-out. I know that Christmas comes every year. At the same time. December does not jump out from behind a bush and say "Gotcha!" 

I always intend to send out cards. I will purchase cards when they are 90% off in January and then I lose them in the black hole in my house where all the lost stuff goes. I feel bad when I don't send out cards. I don't keep in touch with my extended family at all. I always feel like a Christmas card is a silent apology for being such a s***ty family member all year. Well, I am not apologizing about it this year. I am fully embracing my disconnectedness and I am not going to feel bad about it. Besides, I can't send out cards without pictures.

I like to take a picture of my kids or the family to include in cards. I didn't even do that this year. I know that no one gives a crap about seeing my kid's picture. They will look at it for 2 seconds and then put it in a box that will not see the light of day until the next years picture rolls around. All of us parents are lying to ourselves - no one really cares. I don't even subject myself to picture taking. I have not had professional pictures done in 3 years. I am a horrible mom for that, I know. I have just been traumatized too many times trying to get pictures of my kids. 

They always want to fight me about what to wear. I will do their hair and they will look cute but by the time we get to wherever the picture place is located, their hair is already a mess, they have found a chocolate candy in the backseat of the car and they have it smeared on their face. They don't cooperate - they do these fake smiles so big that I can't see their eyes. It's hard. It's been traumatic. 

I always see families downtown getting their pictures done. They all wear the same outfit. Everyone is in jeans and a white button up shirt or some crap like that. The photographer has them doing stupid poses:

My husband would never go for it, he would accuse me of trying to emasculate him. I am low class and just take pictures of the family in real time as we go along. Maybe I will try to get professional pics done next year but I can't subject that to myself at this time.

So, if you are expecting a Christmas card from me - don't. But know that I love you (if you are one of those people I am supposed to love) and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! 

Homework

I am excited for the Christmas holiday because it means that the kids won't have homework for 2 whole weeks! Yahoo! One thing I didn't realize before the kids were in school is that homework for kids is homework for parents too. I don't oversee homework but I check it and work on  things that they may be struggling with. The thing that drives me crazy with the kids and their homework is that they are crazy smart but they can be so stinkin' lazy. 

I think my kids will be way smarter than I'll ever be. My oldest is like a walking encyclopedia. When we were driving through the state she was telling me all about the sand hills and the crops they grow there and the history of the area. She will correct us about things and I am always skeptical because the information is coming out of an 8 year old. I always check the google and she is always right. She's a genius. 

My youngest is the same way. This weekend we were driving in the car and there was a billboard that said something to the effect of "can you name 5 types of apples." My husband is sitting there saying, "Red, green, yellow." Fail. I said, "McIntosh, Granny Smith, Red Delicious, Pink Ladies...." I could not think of a 5th and my husband and I were racking our brains and we hear the voice of our little 6 year old from the back seat, "Actually, you are forgetting Gala apples. They are kind of red and yellow. They taste very good - they are my favorite." She is a genius. :)

Anyway, my point is - my kids are smart, they retain the things that they learn but they are so darn lazy. I will check my 3rd grader's math homework sometimes and think, "Really?" I will tell her to re-do the problems she got wrong. She huffs and puffs. "Look at the problem. In subtraction there is a little thing called 'borrowing' that is kind of important, remember that?" She laughs. She knows how to do it. I think sometimes she just writes down numbers to be done. If she really put in a lot of effort and truly was lost I would understand but failure to fully read the question does not count. Third grade math homework can be pretty involved. I feel bad because I know that there are some parents who will not be able to help their kids with their homework. That will include me when my kids are in high school. haha.

My youngest breezes through math homework but almost everyday she has to use her spelling words in sentences. She has to use 6 spelling words in sentences. She is smart but she is lazy. Her goal is always to try to cram as many spelling words into one sentence. It doesn't matter if it is completely nonsensical. Some of my favorites that she has come up with are, "I ate a hard, green cloud." "I saw a star in the shape of corn." "I rode on a train that had a brain." Really? I have never seen a hard, green cloud nor have I seen a star in the shape of corn. Did the train actually have a brain or was it carrying a brain in a jar? I say these things to her and she will laugh and she will write a sentence that make sense. It may be argued that I am stifling her sense of creativity but I only care when it is for homework. If she wants to write about trains with brains and stars in the shape on corn on her own time, I am all for it. But otherwise, turn in something that makes sense, you know?

Homework is a good life lesson for kids. It shows them that in life, sometimes you have to do stuff that you really don't want to do. I am a mean, homework checking mom. I admit it....but only for 2 more weeks!

Christmas Tree Time

It's that time of year again. The Christmas season has officially begun for our family. Last weekend we put up our decorations. I have so many hodge podge items but it still seems to come together pretty nicely. My husband got excited when he found our stockings from when we first got married. "Look honey, these are our original stockings!" He was impressed, he acted like they were an ancient relic. I purchased them from the dollar store 10 years ago. That's the only place we could afford to buy Christmas decorations 10 years ago. Haha. I guess it is impressive that they've held up so long and stayed with us after so many moves. 

We took the kids to the Christmas parade yesterday afternoon. It was such a nice day yesterday. We sat on the curb next to a palm tree under this beautiful 200 year old building. It was so warm. People were in tank tops and flip flops. I love living here. We watched the bands and the belly dancers and the corvette club. We were towards the end of the parade and the kids did not get one piece of candy. They were very disappointed about it. As if they don't get enough junk. The oddest thing that I noticed this year that I hadn't noticed in the years past were that people were sitting on dining room and kitchen chairs. They literally took their dining room chairs out of the house and carried them around downtown to come watch the parade. Am I the only one that finds that a little bizarre and extreme? It was somewhat disturbing to me. Whatever. 

Afterwards, we had dinner with my sister and then went to pick out a Christmas tree. In years past, we cut down our own tree but it was very expensive to do that and the tree farms are 45 minutes from our house and last time they didn't strap our tree down good enough and our tree flew off our car into oncoming traffic (twice) and my husband had to retrieve it and we had to ghetto-rig it to get it to stay on top of the car for the 45 minute trip. It was horrible. We were traumatized. So now we just go to a tree lot. 

We went to this tree lot by the house. I had my dad with us, which proved to be entertaining. We get out of the car and there is a man cutting branches off of a tree. My dad says to him, "You gonna make a wreath out of that?" The man looks up at him and he obviously did not understand what he said. So my father says again, "You gonna make a wreath out of that?" The man just looks at him blankly. I'm like, "Dad, I don't think he speaks English. I don't think he understands." So my dad says it again except this time he does this circular hand motion in the shape of a wreath. *Face palm* Pardones, mi padre es un gabacho. So we look around and all the trees are freaking expensive. We found this big fat tree and it was only $55. I thought it seemed suspicious. We looked around the tree and it seemed legit. We got it strapped to the roof and off we went. Thank goodness my dad was around because him and my husband were big men and put it up, it was pretty painless. Then I noticed that it was a little bare toward the bottom. I didn't care that much, we turned it against the window. I won't even decorate the side that faces the window because we have a huge bush that blocks the view of our living window. That side of the tree could be destroyed and I would be whatever about it. We strung the lights. I usually will string a popcorn and cranberry garland but my husband put the kibosh on that because apparently he hates popcorn garland and he was very vocal about it this year. We will decorate it sometime this week. Our trees are always kind of funny. They are pretty, slightly imperfect, a little lopsided, hodge-podge, but put together with love. They pretty much embody what my family is all about. haha. So, Christmas time is here again. Let the chaos begin!

The Search for the Illusive Khakis

Last week my daughter came home with a note from school stating that she would need a pair of khakis for her chorus uniform. We have been really busy and I just got around to it on Tuesday. I am weird about clothes. I rarely shop retail - I always shop at thrift stores and consignment, because my kids ruin clothes....and because I am cheap. So we went to Once Upon a Child and there were no khakis in her size at all. Next we tried some discount stores- we went to Marshalls. Still no khakis. There were skank clothes for kids but not one pair of khakis. Then we went to Burkes Outlet and again not a single pair of khakis. I was so annoyed. Finally I broke down and decided to go to Old Navy. I mean Old Navy invented khakis. I didn't really feel like spending $30 on kids pants but whatever. 

I walk into Old Navy and to my left was a huge sign that said "khakis" and a picture of a man in khakis wearing a sweater and jumping up with his hands in the air. He was happy and excited about his khakis. A little too happy in my opinion. I was feeling confident. I walk over to the kids section and there was one rack with khakis. They were cargo khakis with sweat pant material on the inside. I picked them up and looked at them inside and out and was very confused. They were not going to do. There was one pair of size 14 khakis in the school uniform section. That was it. Also, there were no $30 pants there. All the clothes were way cheaper and flimsier than I remember Old Navy clothes being. It was like being in Walmart except with louder more annoying music. I hate retail. My daughter did need a new pair of shoes. She found a lovely pair that were made in China by a 10 year old. *Sigh* I went up to the front and the cashiers were taking forever. They had this huge display up so that your kids can annoy you and ask for stuff while you wait. My kids were all over it, I swear they were thinking, "We cannot leave until we touch every single thing on this display." My daughter handed me a nail file and asked me to get it for her. It was a pretty standard nail file. Small, colorful, made in China. They were selling these nail files for $3. I thought steam would come out of my ears. What a load of crap. I know very well this thing cost less than a dime to make and ship and they were selling it for $3. That is highway robbery. I always feel that way about printer cartridges as well. I get so angry. I do not understand why a flimsy piece of plastic filled with ink is so damn expensive. I mean $35, really? So I left Old Navy annoyed. We headed to Moes. I knew that would lift my spirits.

We got to Moes and ordered food and my husband was running late to meet us as usual. I was talking to the kiddos and eating and then the lady-I-don't-like showed up. There are very few people in the world that I don't like but she is one of them. She always is at Moes when I am. She always wears fitness clothes. The reason I don't like her is that one time she was behind me at the soda machine and I was filling up my diet coke and she said, "You shouldn't drink diet soda. It's so bad for you. I would NEVER drink diet soda." She just went on and on. In a really condescending manner. I laughed it off and said, "But hey - it has no calories." Then she went on and on about how I should exercise instead (how does she know I don't?) and her husband is a personal trainer. Whatever. Who does this lady think she is? I wanted to tell her she could come to my house and do my dishes and take care of my kids while I went and worked out with her husband. I sooooo wish I could tell people how I really feel. Now every time I see her it's awkward because I want to throw things. She was wearing butt high work out shorts on this particular day. On a cold, rainy evening at the end of November. I don't know why she just can't go eat organic at Jason's Deli and let me have Moes to myself. 

Anyway, here I am. Still no khakis, still drinking diet soda. I am going to explore the mall in search of khakis tonight. Wish me luck!

First Comes Children, Then Goes the Marriage

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We went up to North Carolina to see my family. We ate ourselves silly and we headed for home on Friday evening. We had a grand plan. We had to leave at approximately 6 pm. The goal was to entertain the kids for an hour and a half in the car, stop for icecream to rev them back up a little bit and then have the darkness and the lull of the car on the highway get them to sleep about 1 hour to 50 minutes before we got home. We would unload their limp, sleepy bodies from the car into their beds and SCORE! have time alone without the children. Don't get me wrong - we love hanging with the kids, but a husband and wife need time alone every once in a while.

Our plan was so working. We pulled in at 9:45, both the kids were tuckered out. I was in charge of scooping up the youngest, he had the oldest. We laid them down in their beds and my oldest stirred. We both froze in place. Like robbers who were about to be caught. We waited for her to drift back to sleep but she opened her eyes and said, "Can I sleep in your room?" WTF?!?!?! "I laid down next to her and said, "No, go to sleep." I laid with her until she fell back asleep, which was annoying. I could just let her cry and get upset. Then she would have woken up her sister and then we would be completely done because nothing ruins the mood more than cranky, crying kids. She finally went back to sleep. We were glad.

The next day she continued to be cranky and unreasonable. We woke up and my husband made a big breakfast and we sat around and ate. We eat breakfast together every morning, we have dinner together in the evening and we eat lunch together whenever we are all home. It's how we reconnect. I am a slow eater - I savor every bite and the kids are typically done eating first. We excuse them and they will go play and do whatever they do and we will sit together for a half an hour and talk and laugh. It's like being on a mini-date, except that it's in our own house and it's free and we don't have to get dressed. I feel like our lives are so kid-centered that we need these moments in the day.

So after breakfast, the kids got up and the hubby and I were leisurely finishing our coffee and shooting the bull when my 8 year old comes up and says, "Can we decorate for Christmas?" "Yes, we will do that later today." "I want to do it now." "No. It's 8 am, let me finish my coffee and then we need to go to the grocery store." She freaked out. Was completely unreasonable. She tried to explain to me a hundred times why we needed to decorate at that exact moment and when I held my ground she started screaming all the reasons why we are horrible. We never let her do what she wants, we are mean, and then she said, "You always want to ignore us and every time you just want to talk to each other." God forbid! We actually like to talk to each other - I didn't realize that it was so traumatic for her. I said, "Do you want your father and I to stay married?" "Yes." "Well, then we need to talk to each other EVERYDAY." She got mad and cried in the other room. I refuse to be guilt tripped by a third grader. We pour endless amounts of love and attention into the children. We take them to fun places, we are generally pretty easy to live with. I am not going to feel bad for carving out pockets in the day to hang with the hubby. The kids benefit from it hugely in the long run. 

So she cried and we finished our coffee and ignored the crying. We discussed how we were going to wear out the kids that day to get them to go to bed early to get some alone time. We are devious. Horrible, neglectful, devious parents. :)

Thanksgiving

Today as Thanksgiving - a day where we eat WAY too much food and give thanks for everything we have. I have so much to be thankful for - it's a list a book long. I am thankful for my health and the health of my children, family and friends, my job, my co-workers, the food in my cabinets and the love of my husband....and I could go on and on.

Let's face it - my life is AMAZING. I don't mean that in the sense that I have everything I want. I don't have fancy things and I don't take trips to Europe and my kids aren't junior scholars. My life is not glamorous at all....but I do have everything I NEED and and a little extra and I know that makes me more fortunate than a lot of people in this world. I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life - the big things and the little things. 

Last year, when my daughter was in second grade, she brought home this paper that had all the things she was thankful for. I have kept it on my fridge all year but thought it was so appropriate to share today. Happy Thanksgiving!

Weekend Away

We went away this weekend for my husband's birthday. It was a fun time. We left early Saturday afternoon and the car trip was about 2 hours. I felt pretty prepared. We had the Ipad, some books, toys and snacks but the kids were still annoying. "MOM, We've been in the car all day." I was like, "Actually, we have been in the car for 40 minutes." FML. At one point they just started beating each other. It was pretty horrible. They are too damn old to be acting like that. I threatened to drop them off on the side of the road and then they started acting better.

I was so happy when we pulled into the hotel parking lot. Myrtle Beach was pretty much deserted and it felt like we had the whole place all to ourselves. When we got to the hotel room the kids were so excited. We were on the water at the top of the hotel and we stepped on the balcony and saw people riding horses on the beach. The kids were jumping up and down, "Look mom, fresh towels." "They gave us hangers for our clothes." "Look what's in here -the Holy Bible." It was a pretty standard hotel room, it made me a little sad that the kids were excited about fresh towels and hangers. I obviously don't take the kids to enough fun places.

We got ready and headed out to Medieval Times. We were waiting outside on the drawbridge and a trumpet sounded and the royal procession walked by. I thought the kids were going to poop their pants they were so excited. We purchased our tickets and got our picture with the princess. The "king" came up to the girls and thanked them for coming to his castle. All the staff were calling them princess and my husband and I "Lord and Lady". We all got a big kick out of it.

After you buy your ticket they send you to the reception area of the castle to wait to be seated and "enjoy the atmosphere" but really it's like going through a gauntlet of advertisement and merchandise. They were selling princess tiaras, stuffed animals, shirts, swords, goblets, flags, glow sticks, drinks. All overpriced, of course. I was thinking that the kids were going to be bratty and ask for a bunch of stuff but they did not ask us for one thing. They browsed but were so good. I was so proud of them. I know it took a lot of self restraint. 

We finally were seated and the wench got our drinks and started serving food. There were no utensils and you have to eat with your hands- the girls thought that was the coolest thing. We were seated in the red and yellow knight section. At the start of the show the individual knights preformed different activities and if they did well they received flowers to distribute to the ladies in their section. Our knight passed out flowers but kept passing us by. Every time he came with flowers my 8 year old got so excited and waved her hands but still he passed. By the third time, it was not looking promising. He was close to us and I was looking at the knight like, "Look at my girl - she would love a flower." He made eye contact with me and gave me a little nod but still passed us over.

Then it was time for the competition. Before the competition the king tied sashes around the lances of the knights and declared that they had to pick a special lady to fight for. Our knight rode over and parked his horse directly in front of us. He pointed to my 8 year old and waved her down. She turned to me and said, "Does he mean ME?" "Yes - go!" She was so excited, she jumped out of her seat and ran over and pulled the sash off of his lance. It read, "Queen of the Tournament". My 6 year old was so happy for her too (thank God she wasn't jealous).  It was awesome - made her night. It was short lived because our knight was killed in a sword fight by the red knight 20 minutes later. Bastard.

When we got back to the hotel the kids thanked us a thousand times. "Thanks so much for bringing us here! You are the best mom and dad EVER. I love our family." They were so genuinely appreciative. It really warmed my heart.

The next day we went to the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum which was a total tourist trip. It would have been okay if it was 1/2 the price but we were kind of disappointed. We ended our trip with lunch at Planet Hollywood. The kids thought it was so cool to walk into the big earth and we walked around looking at all of the movie memorabilia. I was reminded of movies I love, like Mrs. Doubtfire. While we were eating they played trailers for upcoming movies and music videos. We watched a music video made by One Direction. My husband was watching it very intensely. He turned to me and in a very serious tone said, "You know, if there was ever a zombie Apocalypse I don't think any of them would survive." I nearly choked on my sandwich. He is so funny.

When we got home we relaxed. I lit a fire and drank hot chocolate and then we watched Mrs. Doubtfire. It was such a relaxing, fun weekend. We needed it!

Getting Older

Today my husband is 30. The big 3-0. It seems kind of weird that he should be 30. I seems like a moment ago that we were celebrating his 18th birthday. We celebrated at the Wendy's in Millville, NJ. haha. We have been anticipating his birthday all year. He's been acting really chill about it but it's little things that make me realize that he is kind of in awe of ushering in his 30s. A few months ago he come home with a gray hair in his beard. He came home and he said, " I was looking in the mirror and I thought the light was hitting my hair at a wrong angle and then I realized it was really a gray hair. Look at it!" His one gray hair just hangs out on his jaw line now. It's all alone. His one token gray hair. He sometimes will remark about his crows feet. A few weeks ago he stormed out of the bathroom and stood at the edge of the bed and said, "Honey - I'm getting spots all over - just like my dad." I could have told him that would happen. I have been lecturing him for an entire decade about the importance of wearing sunscreen. Instead of saying "I told you so" I said "That's because you are getting old." Yesterday he pulled a muscle in his arm and was very uncomfortable so when he came home he rubbed Bengay on it. We were both exhausted by the week and by 7:30 we both were laying in bed like zombies and letting the kids fend for themselves. It was a Friday night, 7:30 pm and I was already in bed with my Bengay smelling husband . That's enough to make you feel old.

I don't really think that 30 is old. In fact, I think that 30 is young - but it's not really that young. By 30, you have a bit of history. We feel young most of the time but there are things that make us feel old. Like the realization that someone born in the late nineties can have a baby or telling the kids about when I went to go see The Little Mermaid when it first came out in the movie theater, or that my baby sister is of legal drinking age, or hearing a song that was popular when we were dating, or when my husband talks about his walkman he used to have with his mixed cassette tapes and our kids look at him like he has 3 heads. I feel old when I say something is "the bomb" and I am told that no one has used that phrase in 15 years. Sometimes I forget that it's not the 90's. The 90's were the bomb.

My husband was against doing anything for his birthday. He just wanted to go out to eat with me and the kids. I thought that was a totally lame idea. So we are doing a weekend away. We are combining my husband's love of fantasy, food, and all things weird and spending the weekend in Myrtle Beach. We will do Medieval Times tonight, stay at a hotel on the beach and do Ripley's Believe It or Not on Sunday with a yummy lunch at Planet Hollywood.  It will be nice to get away and the kids are really excited.  

You may be getting old if you remember watching this when it first aired:

Coat Drama

My kids are not morning people. They must get that from their father. When I get up at 5 am - I pop out of bed and fix a cup of coffee and am generally in a good mood. When I go to wake my kids up (and my husband) they burrow under the covers and moan, "Just 5 more minutes." I smile and say, "Okay, but the early bird gets the worm." They respond with moans and whines.

My children were in rare form yesterday. They were being generally uncooperative and grumpy. I asked my oldest daughter to put her shoes on and she gave me a death stare. My youngest child freaked out that she didn't want water for snack and pretty much told me I am a horrible person for not buying Capri Sun. She's just going to have to realize that we are not that high class. We are simple people and water it will be. Then my oldest and I got into a screaming match about her coat.

Last year we had the same argument. She hated the coat I had purchased for her and would give me a hard time about it. This year I let her pick out her own coat. I found these $85 coats marked down at Zulily for $20. It is cute and warm and has fur trim. This weekend I brought her a crocheted owl hat.
                                 
She looks stinking adorable. But apparently that doesn't matter because yesterday morning she REFUSED to put on a hat and coat.

I have certain rules when it come to temperature. No shorts if the high is under 70. Short sleeves can be worn from 60-70 degrees if they wear a zip up sweater over it. Long sleeves or sweaters must be worn if it is 50-60 degrees and a winter coat is required if the temp is under 50. I need to publish these arbitrary rules in my house somewhere.

So it will 45 degrees yesterday morning and she would not put on her coat. "I am not cold." I told her that I didn't care, it is cold outside so put the coat on. "No." "Put it on NOW." "No, I am not wearing a coat. It is not that cold." "IT IS 45 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!! PUT ON YOUR COAT." "No." This was going no where. I was so irritated. "That's fine - you can just be cold all day." She put her chin up, "I won't be."

We got in the car and I put on the music and ignored the kids. I was pretty much done at that point and it was only 7:05. As I dropped them off I offered the coat one last time and she waved it away. Whatever.

When I came home that night, both the kids were in a better mood. "So, how did it go without your coat today?" My daughter was quiet. "You were cold, weren't you?" She nodded. "I should have worn my coat." I love when my kids admit I am right - it doesn't happen often! Score for mom!

The Car Wreck

I work at a museum 4-8 hours a month on Saturdays. This past Saturday was a museum day and my husband was planning to take the kids to Disney on Ice. It was going to be a nice day.

I am at work and in the middle of giving a tour and my co-worker came up to me and said, "I'm taking over your tour. You need to call your husband." She kind of shrugged like she didn't know why. I was very concerned because he NEVER calls me at the museum. I called him and the first words out of his mouth were, "Honey, I've been in a bad accident." I knew he had the kids with him and fear took over my body in a way that I can't even explain. It felt like the blood drained from my body and my knees were week. "The kids are they okay?" "Yes." "You are sure?" "Yes." "So, they are okay?" "Yes, come get us." I went where he told me to go. As I drove by I could see this mangled car. OUR mangled car. My kids jumped out when I arrived. They were telling on their dad, "Mom, dad crashed the car. It's really broken." My husband sat in the passengers side with his legs hanging out - kind of sad and slumped over and defeated. I kissed him. "It's only a car. Thank God everyone is okay. Next time tell me that you and the kids are okay BEFORE you tell me you had a car accident." 

He rear ended a truck that stopped suddenly in front of him in stop and go traffic. He drives a Kia station wagon that is low to the ground and was only going 10 mph but the back of that truck pretty much ripped off the entire front of his car. He waited for the tow and I took the kids to Disney on Ice.

When I got home my husband was so upset. "Man, this is going to be so expensive." "It's okay, we can eat lots of spaghetti for the rest of the month." My husband always complains about MY driving and we always debate which one of us is the better driver. He thinks I drive to slow (I am law abiding and do follow the speed limit) and I don't check my blind spot in a way that he likes. He'll jokingly say, "You are such a woman driver." I laugh, "I will get us home in enough time to make you a sandwich, dear." Anyway, I knew that this was my chance. "So, I just want you to admit I am a better driver than you." He looked at me like I was crazy. "If you compare our driving records...." He put his head down, "Okay, you're a better driver." My poor hubby.  

Even though we were kind of bummed about the car - no one in the family had a scratch on their beautiful little bodies. I was so grateful and thankful for that. As for my husband,  he gets to drive a rockin' Volkswagon all week - so it's not all bad.  Let the spaghetti eating commence!

Birthday Parties

 I have two children who go to a freaking ton of birthday parties. We pretty much attend every single birthday party we are invited to. Unless we are out of town or something, we arrange our schedules to make sure that our kids attend these parties. In an average year I buy WAY more toys for other kids than I do my own children. It's all my dad's fault. About 4 years ago when I went back to work, the kids were in pre-school and started coming home with these birthday invites. On one random Friday night my dad was over and he asked what I was doing for the weekend and I said that my daughter had been invited to a party but that we probably weren't going to go. You would of thought I told him I was planning to murder people and cannibalize them. He seem really bothered. "You are taking her to the birthday party." "Ummmm.....probably not." He gave me this long lecture, "When you were a kid, you went to every birthday party. What if it was your kid? Can you imagine planning a party and then barely anyone shows up? What if all the other parents decide they aren't going to go to the party? That kid will be so disappointed and have her feelings hurt. You are taking her to the party and if you don't - I will." He was very passionate about it and it struck a cord with me. I took her to the birthday party.

Every time we get an invitation, I hear his voice in my head. Sometimes we have 2-4 parties in a weekend. It ebbs and flows. This month is a crazy month for birthdays...must be nothing on TV historically in March. We have a birthday party Friday night, Disney on Ice Saturday afternoon, another birthday party Saturday night and another quasi-birthday party on Sunday afternoon. Holy Hell! The following weekend we will be celebrating all weekend in Myrtle Beach because my hubby will be 30!

This past weekend my daughter was invited to a sleep over birthday party and she was so excited because it is a friend from her old school and she was planning all week. We were 45 minutes late because of traffic from the fair (which someone got stabbed at.....how ghetto). She was so anxious the car ride over. When we pulled up to the driveway the house was dark. No cars. I pulled out the phone and pulled up the e-mail and I got the date wrong - it was the following Saturday. My poor daughter was so upset. She sobbed. I felt so bad. Bad mom award for me. It wasn't all a wash. We had a dinner date planned with friends that night who have an amazing child that my kids love. Her playroom was pretty awesome. I realized that we indeed have a active social life - even if it only consists of events with jump castles, pta meetings, and playdates!