I was so looking forward to spring break. I thought it was going to be so relaxing. I am a damn fool. It was really awful actually. We made the gut-wrenching school decision, there was a loss of my daughter's acquaintance, my youngest injured herself in gymnastics and I had to shell out $250 for medical bills and crutches for her (it was just a sprain, thankfully). This was right after I just paid to have my timing belt and water pump replaced in my car. I also had to replace a tire that had a nail in it. Last week was expensive. Very expensive.
I called my girlfriend to vent. "I just so damn weary. Plus, I haven't even got my Easter stuff together yet!" It is very unlike me. I am always ahead of the game. "I need to get some Easter stuff to. I'll come with you. You need a friend," she replied.
I picked her up and we went to the dollar store. I was not feeling it, at all. I literally put in minimal effort. I usually will buy books, Bath and Body Works lotion, thoughtful things.... This year I was like- jelly beans, chocolate bunny, peanut butter egg, tooth brush and a $20. The slackest Easter baskets ever. I didn't even feel bad.
I decided that if the kids acted disappointed I would tell them that God is disappointed that they don't appreciate that he gave his only son to die for their sins. I'm a good mom like that.
After our excursion at the Dollar Tree, my friend needed to stop by Walmart. We were walking through the store and it felt like I had gum on the bottom of my sandals. Something did not feel right. BOTH of the soles of my shoes were cracking. "That's weird." We continued to walk around the store and then my heel just fell off, unexpectedly, right in the middle of the aisle.
I looked around, no one saw it happen. "Run," I said to my friend. We did. With each step, more and more of the soles came off. My shoes were literally disintegrating before my eyes. Both of them. It was the strangest thing. "These shoes are a metaphor for my life right now," I said, decidedly. We laughed so hard that we were crying. I left a trail of foam behind me in the parking lot as I walked to the car.
Look at these things:
Unacceptable.
The next night was Easter eve. I stuffed my sad, mediocre baskets and hid them. Then, I painted bunny prints on the ground. "You know that the kids don't believe in the Easter Bunny anymore," my husband said (as if I needed the reminder). It is a force of habit. I am not ready to let it go yet. They are still kids, after all.
There was no early morning waking the next day. In fact, my husband and I woke up before the kids. They were not overly enthusiastic about finding their baskets or about the candy. There was no delighted shrieks when they emptied all the chocolate. They did appreciate the $20 bill, though. I watched my daughters, almost as big as me now, sitting on the couch and rummaging through their Easter baskets and I wondered-how did this happen?
Your kids are little....until they're not. Of course it's gradual but you don't even realize it until one day you wake up and it's your reality. It's as if it happens over night. I love my big girls but I do miss my babies.
We had breakfast and then got ready to go to brunch with my family. "Listen guys, you have to dress nice. A dress or a skirt and blouse...." I was met by a collective groan. My 10 year old rolled her eyes. "Why do we have to pretend like we are fancy or something?" We have this argument EVERY TIME they have to dress up for anything. It's super annoying.
I went into my bathroom to get dressed. When I emerged, my girls were dressed. My youngest was wearing a nice dress paired with BLACK COMBAT BOOTS and my oldest daughter was showing more cleavage than Jessica Rabbit.
They know. I have pretty low expectations but they know not to show up to Easter with combat boots and cleavage. NO, NO, NO. So we all had a huge argument and they went back to their rooms to change. They came out looking much better but were not happy. I got dirty looks. Again, I didn't give a shit.
On the way there, I gave the speech. "Make sure to be polite. Don't make any off-color remarks. If someone asks you a question you don't like, give a vague answer. Try to act happy and let's pretend like we like each other, okay?"
The girls nodded and my husband smirked. That's how we roll. Happy Belated Easter!
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