My Baby

                               
I've been spending a lot of time with my youngest child. Which can be a challenge sometimes, as you know.

Last year I felt like I barely saw her at all between school and gymnastics but now that she does online school I get her back a little bit. She is pretty self-sufficient. I mostly help her with projects and technical stuff. I oversee her work. She tries to get me to give her answers.

"Mom. What impact did the Imperial Era have on the Chinese?"
"I don't know - look it up," I reply.
She gets mad, "Geez mom! You are supposed to know this! You passed sixth grade!"

She legit expects me to remember everything I learned in 6th grade. That was like, a million years ago. The only thing I have in my brain are dick jokes, lyrics to 80's songs, and recipes. There is no useful information in there.

She is being a lot less combative and nicer lately. We started going to marriage counseling a few months ago. She was constantly being moody, was taking everything I said out of context, we were not communicating well at all. One day, I had enough.
"We're going to marriage counseling," I declared, throwing up my hands.
                 
"But we're not married," she said confused.
"I don't care!" I said.

So we go once a month. It is just like marriage counseling. We play games, we are open with each other. I think it's helped relate to each other better. We get this one chance and I am not going to spend the next 7 years battling each other. At first she hated it, but now it's better. I'm learning to bend on some things.

Food, for instance. I never cooked special food for the kids. You get what you get. I'm not an ala carte chef. In the past year my child has become super picky. She refuses to eat eggs, oatmeal, chicken, pork, turkey. You know, normal things that people eat for dinner. It's making me crazy. I would make dinner and she would refuse to eat it and then I would tell her to make herself food and she would eat crap.

Finally, I raised my white flag. "What will you eat?" She thought about it. "Ham, steak, soup, sushi and spaghetti. That's what I like."
"Ok. I can do that."
"Yeah, mom, but not canned soup. I only like your fresh soup."
"Like what?"
"Potato, mushroom, French onion, tomato, broccoli and cheese...."

This child expects me to make fresh soup.
                        
So, I've been making big batches of soup and freezing them. Also, what 11 year old likes French onion, mushroom and tomato soup? That is the rotation now - ham, steak, soup and spaghetti. The rest of us just eat what I normally cook. It's made dinner times much better although I have broken my rule of not being an ala carte chef. We all have to sacrifice.

She gets sushi once a week for lunch. That is my special treat to her. She loves sushi. Sushi and Ramen noodles. She wants to be Japanese. When she is not doing gymnastics and school she is watching anime and reading manga. She's funny.

A few weeks ago I took her to see Laurie Hernandez. It was kind of a fluke. I was driving her to practice and we heard on the radio that she would be in town the next day at the Southern Women's Show. She LOVES Laurie Hernandez. I went online and the tickets were sold out. I was bummed.

I emailed the head of the Southern Woman's Show in a panic. I really wanted to make this happen for her. The lady emailed me back and said that we may be able to meet her at the event with just general admission tickets even if we didn't get the "VIP package".

The next day we got ready to go. She wore her USA hoodie and we took the picture of the Olympic gymnasts off the wall and packed it in a tote in hopes that we could get an autograph. We walked around the convention center beforehand and she was being moody and having an all around crappy attitude. She criticized my outfit choice. I almost left her there alone.

We sat down and they did a Q&A with Laurie. Laurie talked about being one of the only Puerto Rican gymnasts, repeating Level 4, struggling with bars, the TV shows she likes....my daughters eyes were wide. She leaned in and whispered, "We have so much in common." She was happy.

After, they announced that they would have a meet and greet. We got up an ran over and she was third in line. When it was her turn to meet Laurie she was shaking, she was so nervous. Laurie was so sweet. She hugged her and complimented her sweatshirt, she told my daughter that she had pretty hair and asked her about gymnastics. She signed her photo and posed for me to get a picture of them.

When we walked out of the convention center, my daughter was still shaking. Then, we sat down in the car and she started to sob. "What's wrong?" I asked, confused.

"I'm just so happy," she said. She cried the whole way home. I laughed. She loves gymnastics so much and to meet her FAVORITE gymnast was amazing. Priceless.

I was just glad to get a picture. She refuses to let me take pictures of her. "Ugggh! You always want to take my picture." Meanwhile, my oldest always wants me to take her picture. In 20 years she's going to wonder why I have hundreds of pictures of her sister and 2 of her. She's going to make me feel like a bad mother about it.

Things between us are better. Not perfect, but she is coming back to me a bit. Yesterday she sat down on the couch and leaned against me as we watched a show. Instead of putting headphones in on the way home, she hooked up her phone to the radio and we sang along to Panic at the Disco together, when I came home from the grocery store this morning, she thanked me for buying salami and asked if she could jump on my back....it's the little things.

I think she is leveling out a little bit. We're just taking it one day at a time. I love her so much.