18 Years Flew By

                   
Just like that, 18 years with my man have gone by. My husband was in Hawaii for it, so there was no celebrating. Just a quick phone call. Which is fine. After 18 years there is little urgency. We'll celebrate when he gets back. Or we won't, whatever. It's all good.

I laugh that we are so interdependent now. We really are melded together. My husband got back from a work trip a few weeks ago and he was crawling into bed that first night home and he said, "I'm finally going to sleep good tonight. I hate sleeping alone." He always complains that he can never sleep well if I'm not next to him. He doesn't like to be awake if I'm not awake. We have this joke in our house about how, if he wakes up before me, he always finds an excuse to wake me up. The kids roast him about it. The Sunday that he came back, he let me sleep. I actually heard him putting on coffee downstairs, but I laid in bed for a few minutes relaxing.

A moment after I stood up out of bed, I heard my husband coming up the stairs. He stood in the doorway and smiled. "You're up," he said. He'd heard me get out of bed. He was waiting. He knows that I like peace and quiet in the morning. Don't talk to me before I have my coffee. I fixed myself oatmeal and coffee and sat on the couch. He sat down next to me. I was sipping my coffee and reading the news, enjoying the peace and quiet. He looked at me for a minute, then down at his phone, then back at me and finally said, "I'm going to need you to chug your coffee, because I really want to talk to you." I laughed so hard. He knows me too well.

He actually wound up getting sick that afternoon. He had a fever of 102 and was laid up in bed. This is the area where I shine. If you are sick- I will take care of you. I whipped up some chicken noodle soup from scratch. I'll give you your meds. I'll put a cold compress on your head and attend to your every need. My girlfriend was coming over for tea and cheesecake that evening. I had to straighten up and cook dinner. I gave him his medicine and some cold orange juice. I went to leave and he said, "Where are you going?"
"Downstairs. I have a lot to do."
He looked up at me with the most pitiful eyes, "Will you lay with me?"
I rolled my eyes so hard.
                                         
"Are you serious?" I asked.
He nodded. "Okay, for like, 5 minutes."
I crawled into bed with him and rubbed his back. Poor guy.

I quarantined him upstairs and cleaned my house and was hanging out with my girlfriend and was telling her everything you have just read. At that moment, I heard someone come down the stairs. My husband just stood in the doorway. He just stood there, looking at me in a daze. He didn't say anything. "Yes, dear?" I asked. "I wanted to let you know that I'm feeling better and I'm going to eat some soup now," he said.
"Would you like me to fix it for you?" I asked.
"No. I just was letting you know."
My girlfriend chuckled. "My husband is the same way!" She's been with her husband since she was 14-15 and they have been together longer than we have.

He makes me laugh so hard. A few weeks ago, we were laying in bed and he turned to me and said, "Why don't you put on some music to set the mood?" *Don't worry, you can keep reading, this story is PG*
Me, being the asshole that I am, said, "I have just the thing," I grabbed my phone and played The Oldest Melody in the World.

He looked at me sideways, "What is this?!?!" 

"Shhhhhhhhhh. Close your eyes," I said. "Now imagine that it's 1,300 BC. We are in some beautiful villa in Crete. We are on the coast and we look out and see the clear blue ocean. There is a minotaur roaming around outside......"

"Minotaur's are frightening," he interjected.

"Shhhhhhhh," I continued. "You've just gotten home from selling bread at the market. I'm here waiting for you in a white, flowy dress with nothing underneath-"

"Wait, wait, wait," he said. "I was selling bread at the market?"

"Yes."

"I'm the BREAD man? Of all the things you made me be the bread man? Can't I be something cooler?" he said.

I laughed, "Sure. I guess. I mean, I'm just making this up on the fly. You wanna be a blacksmith or something?

"Ok."

"Ok. You come home from your long day as a blacksmith. I'm in a white flowy dress and I've been waiting for you all day. We can hear the waves and the music playing-" 

He interrupts again, "Where is the music coming from? It's 1,300 BC."

"I don't know, there's a guy in the corner playing music," I said. 

"There's a GUY in the corner WATCHING us and playing music?!?!?!" he said. "I gotta be honest, this is not doing anything for me."

We laughed so hard that we were wiping tears out of the corner of our eyes. We are both weirdos, we are meant to be together. 

My husband is a very quiet and private man. In some ways I feel like I have this wonderful secret that no one knows about. It's like I have a treasure chest of gold and only I have the map. He has always fascinated me. He is not like everybody else. When I first met him, he was this punk-ass Puerto Rican boy who played Dungeons and Dragons and listened to electronica. He was eccentric and serious. He refused to chase me. I wanted to peel back his layers and live off of his kisses. I still do. 

We have been lucky. We have been mostly happy. I feel truly honored to be his wife. If I could do things over again, I would not change a thing. If you are are reading this, dear - even though you are 4,755 miles away- I love you to the moon and all the way back home. Thank you for making my life beautiful. Happy 18.