The developments over the past few weeks are a little jarring. We officially have a pandemic on our hands. It sucks, but it doesn't surprise me. I worked in public health for many years and we had to do pandemic training. They talk to you about what would happen in a pandemic and what your individual role would be. The most upsetting thing of the whole training was learning that they had contracts with supermarkets to use their walk-in refrigerators as morgues in the event of mass casualties. At least dead bodies won't be on the side of the road, they'll be neatly stacked in the refrigerator of your local Piggly Wiggly. They were adamant, "It's not a matter of IF, it's WHEN."
Now, here we are. This whole thing has gotten very political. People are so passionate on both sides. "It's blown out of proportion" vs "Death is coming." I can see both sides. The death rate is on the higher side, 2-3% - based on the numbers that are reported. I think that the numbers of people who had or have coronavirus are skewed because in most cases symptoms are mild, which means many people won't seek testing or treatment. Those who do, must meet certain criteria for testing. In conclusion, I believe the numbers are artificially low. But what do I know? I'm not an epidemiologist. I could just be fake news.
The reassuring thing for me is that it is not affecting children and young people. Other pandemics, like the Spanish flu, disproportionally killed otherwise healthy, young adults whereas the elderly are most at risk from coronavirus. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. I'm sorry, but I'd be infinately more upset if I heard about a 7-year-old dying of coronavirus than about 82-year-old Lucille, who has already lived 4 years passed life expectancy. I said what I said.
The most confounding thing is this toilet paper hoarding. I don't care. Back if the day, I was hardcore and didn't use ANY paper products. If toilet paper goes out of stock, I'll just cut up some old tee-shirts, grab my squirt bottle and live my life. We didn't use napkins, paper towels, or disposable menstrual products or diapers. I LOVE cloth diapers. Look how cute they are:
These pads:
I don't really advertise that to people because they think it's weird but I probably saved over $100 a month by not having to buy diapers and wipes, paper or disposable products. My diaper stash was enviable. I probably spent $400 total and when my youngest potty trained, I sold my stash for $200. So I diapered 2 kids, for 4 years for $200, which breaks down to $4.16 a month spent. That doesn't include energy costs for laundry, but it was a pretty good deal. I feel like a TON more people use cloth now than they did 16 years ago, so it's more acceptable. People would be grossed out about it and be like, "Why?" and I'd be like
Seriously, how do people afford daycare AND diapers? It's wild. I digress, anyway, long story short - I don't care about running out of toilet paper or paper towels.
As all of this has ramped up, the children have become increasingly concerned. It's all over the news, they are canceling things left and right, it's making them uneasy. The other night we were downstairs watching a movie and there was a knock on the door. It was Josh. He walked in and looked so distraught. "How was your baseball game?" I asked.
"I didn't play," he replied.
"Why not?"
"They let all the seniors play the whole game in case they cancel the season." Oh, that makes sense. He was so sad. You could just see the disappointment written all over his face.
"If that cancel spring sports, that means track......" I looked at my youngest and her face fell too. She shrugged. "If it happens there is nothing I can do."
My oldest had a million questions. "Do you think we could get sick and die? What if they cancel concert festival? Prom? Graduation? We are supposed to go to Italy....."
I spoke very honestly with her. "The virus is affecting the elderly disproportionately, which means if we get it, the symptoms will probably be very mild. We will go on as planned and if something changes, we will make adjustments. If they cancel prom - you have your dress. Put it on. Go take pictures, go to dinner. Maybe we could throw a party instead. It won't be ideal but it'd be something. We don't leave for Italy for 4 months. We will wait and see and if we need to adjust, we will. We will look for silver linings and we will be flexible. This is unprecedented in our lifetime. I don't know what is going to happen but I do know that we will get through this."
We will. We are very fortunate that I work from home already and my husband has the ability to work from home. The kids can do school from home if needed. I really feel for those who will experience loss of income and have childcare difficulties during this time. It's a very scary time for people. We are praying this will pass soon.
They did cancel Concert Festival. My daughter came in, crying. "This has just been such a disappointing band year!" she said. I hugged her. It is hard. It is okay to mourn. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to be disappointed. Some will say that "Oh well, people are dying and going bankrupt, so it's not that bad...." I think that's garbage. That's like telling women who have had C-sections to get over it because at least they have a healthy baby. Yes, surely that is most important but it minimizes the loss of an experience that was anticipated. It is completely valid to be disappointed if your sports season was suspended, that your college told you not to come back after spring break, that you may not walk in graduation, that your honeymoon was postponed, that your performance was canceled, that the event that you were looking forward to will not happen. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to vent, and it is completely okay and valid to mourn that loss. It IS a loss. It is a loss of validation after working hard and training. It is a loss of experiences, many of which only happens once in a lifetime. It is a loss that many will carry with them their whole lives.
This is an experience we are not alone in. That doesn't make it better but it is reassuring. As a country, there are times where we have had to sacrifice. We are sacrificing now. We can only do what we can do. Practice social distancing, wash our hands, pray, be flexible and wait. In the wise words of Andre 3000, "You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can't predict the weather."
God speed, everyone!
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