Mom's Taxi Service

                               

It'd been almost a month since I became a full time mom again and I have not been as relaxed as I thought. There are a lot of things that I neglected for a long time and I am slowly beginning to catch up. I scrubbed my baseboards, and my laundry pile no longer exists. The house is clean every day. I feel like I am on vacation kind of. It will take a while for things to settle in. I spend most of my days shuttling children here and there. I have become an unpaid chauffeur.

I wake up at 5, make lunches and breakfast and we are out the door by 7. Then I drop the youngest at the elementary school, then drive to the middle school to drop off the oldest. Then back home by 8. Leave at 1:30, pick up the youngest then drive to the middle school to pick up the oldest. The bad part about the afternoons is that there is an hour difference between when my youngest and oldest child get out of school. I thought this is a great time for my youngest daughter to do her math homework and get in her 1/2 hour of reading. I can make my grocery list, play candy crush, nap. No. It didn't go like that. A few weeks ago, I had it. My daughter did her math homework but instead of reading decided she would just annoy me for 40 minutes. She rolled down the window and hung out of it. "Mom, I think I can climb onto the roof. Can I climb onto the roof?" Why? "No, you cannot climb on the roof." She whined for 5 minutes about not being able to climb on the roof. Then she threw her body on top of mine and started playing with my hair. Then she passed gas. On me. Not in my direction, literally on me. I had enough.

My 5th grader got into the car and I announced, "You are both taking the bus home." They freaked out, the bus was going to be a problem. My oldest daughter convinced me to let her go home with the next door neighbors. That seemed reasonable. I just needed to avoid being in the car with my 8 year old for longer than 15 minutes. This seemed like a good solution. Well, it lasted 10 days.

On Monday my daughter told me she wanted me to pick her up. My 8 year old looked at me with big eyes. "We can do it, mom. I will be good. I promise." Okay, we'll try again. Monday, I picked up my youngest and we drive to the middle school. She was good. She pulled out her math homework and began to do it quietly. She got stuck on question 3. "Mom, I don't understand. Can you help me with this?" I looked at the question and began to give her instruction. "No, mom. We have to make an organizational list." "We are going to get there, just listen..." I continued to give her instruction to help solve the problem. She didn't even let me finish when all hell broke loose. I could see it build up in her.

"I TOLD YOU I HAD TO MAKE AN ORGANIZATIONAL LIST! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING!!!!" She slammed her folder down and threw her pencil against the dash board. "I AM GOING TO FAIL AT MATH BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!" Then she began to sob. She has a 95 in math, by the way. I was done with her stressing out about the homework. I said nothing to her. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND MOM!?!?" I didn't even look at her. "I am not going to talk to you right now, until you calm down." She sobbed some more. "Why are you so mean to me?" Someone.kill.me. 

On Tuesdays, I don't have to wait with her because she has chorus practice. On those days, I pick up my daughter at the middle school and then we pick up my youngest. Yesterday, I picked up my daughter and I asked her about her day. She told me about how everything went and then she asked, "Mom, can I walk home to Z's house from now on? She needs someone to walk with her." "No, that doesn't make sense. I would be happy to drive her home since she lives near the school. Do you want me to call her dad and ask?" She rolled her eyes. "No." Then I remembered something. "Wait a minute, she has a 13 year old brother that goes to school here too. Can't they just walk home together?" She shrugged. "I don't know." I was feeling skeptical about this. Something wasn't fitting together. "I don't know what plans you have, but the answer is No. You cannot walk home unsupervised." She was annoyed at me and crossed her arms and pouted. "Just take me home." "We have to get your sister." She looked at me meanly. "No, take me home first and then go get her." Excuse me? "She needs to be picked up in 5 minutes, so no." That's when the whining started, "But my ankle hurts." "Well, it's a good thing you don't have to get out of the car." She sighed and gave me another dirty look.

I ignored her. I am not dealing with it. Then, my favorite Rusted Root song came on. I turned it up slightly and started humming along. My daughter turned the volume down to 8. I turned it back to 15. She turned it back to 8. So I left it there and started dancing. Bobbing my head, and shaking my shoulders. She gave me the death stare. 

"Stop.Dancing. NOW!" I like how my kids think they can tell me what to do. I am fair, and I am a negotiator. I said, "I'll make a deal with you. We can keep it at 8 with me dancing, or at 15 with no dancing." She turned the volume back to 15, annoyed. "I hate you. You are the worst." Right back at ya, grumpy pants. Geez.

This morning wasn't much better. We were getting ready to leave and it was 7 o'clock and her shoes weren't on and her teeth weren't brushed. The rest of us were ready to walk out the door. "Why aren't you ready?" Do you know what she said to me? "I didn't know what time we were leaving." We have left the house every morning at the same time for the past 5 years. You can tell time. What a load of crap. So I tell her to get done what she needs to get done - QUICKLY. "I'll just have dad take me." No. "You're dad works hard. You will not inconvenience him with making him have to make another stop before work this morning. Get it together." She yelled something at me and went to get her shoes. I waited for her in the car and she got in and slammed the door. She pouted and said not a word the entire ride to school. I pulled up and turned around, "I love you no matter what and I hope you have a great day." She gave me this face:

Then she left the car without saying a word to me. Not even a fist bump. I see how it is.

After she left the dog jumped in the front seat. The Dog Days came on and I laughed and said, "They wrote this song about you, Summer." She looked at me happily and wagged her tail. I scratched behind her ears. "You are the only female in the house that likes me." True story.