The Charade is Up

                      
Where the heck have I been? I find that I am not really less busy. I just fill my days with different things. The kids have had many school events and we have 3 birthday parties to attend today. I feel like I've spent my week buying birthday gifts for other people's kids. I spend more money on other people's children than my own.

Then there are Christmas preparations which are in full swing. I got my Christmas cards in this week. Absolutely NO thought went into them at all. I just picked any random picture that had my whole family in it. A picture from Sea World. We are in bathing suits and my husband is wearing a Batman shirt and looks like he just smelled a fart. I did choose an aqua blue background so it could have a "beachy" Christmas feel. It's fine. I am the Queen of Good Enough, not the Queen of Perfect.

All the gifts have been purchased for the girls. I always do my Christmas shopping online, so it was quick and easy. My youngest daughter wanted a massage chair this year. I have no idea why but she has been talking about it for months. I purchased a massage mat that can fit to any seat. Those massage CHAIRS are expensive. I am not a baller. My oldest daughter asked for a sewing machine. She hand sews all kinds of amazing things and she want to make clothes and purses and not spend days hand-sewing them. I got her a gift card to Hancocks so she can get fabric and embellishments. I am going to make her make me some curtains. They will get books. My little one wanted a Minecraft construction book and my oldest Hunger Games. They got clothes and roller blades. The freaking UPS man dropped off ALL of my gifts at 5 pm EVERY TIME. It was so annoying. Hello, UPS man, my kids believe in Santa so can you drop the sh*t off while they are at school?

Except they don't believe in Santa. At least not all of them, I was having lunch with my husband earlier this week and he told my that our oldest daughter disclosed to him that she doesn't believe in Santa anymore. I shed a tear when he told me that. She hadn't mentioned anything to me. She was probably afraid I would cry. I decided to talk to her about it when I picked her up from school and it was just the two of us.

She got in the car and I turned to her and told her I wanted to talk to her about something. She got all freaked out. "What did I do?" Calm down Miss Paranoia...... "Nothing, dad told me you don't believe in Santa anymore." She shrugged, "Yeah." "Why not?" She got ready to break my heart. "Well, last year we watched a movie at school about the legend of Santa Claus and then I was on Pinterest looking at Christmas stuff and they had things on there about how to get your kid to believe in Santa and I kind of put 2 and 2 together. Plus, I know it must be you and dad because I don't always get EVERYTHING I ask for and if Santa was real, he would get it for me." Bad Mom Award. I admitted it to her but swore her to secrecy. "Don't you EVER tell your sister. Let her believe in the magic of Santa for a little while longer." She agreed. "I also know you guys aren't the tooth fairy anymore because I found our teeth."

Yes, I am a creepy tooth collector. I don't have them all but I do have their first ones. My grandmother died when I was 5 years old, but I remember one day that she showed me that she had a small jewelry box in her dresser that was full children's teeth. I liked to go in there and shake the box of teeth, I liked the sound of them clinking together. It was like teeth maracas. So you can't really blame me, my creepy tooth collecting is hereditary.

Again, I admitted that we are the tooth fairy. She was excited with herself. "I knew it!" I was visibly sad. "What's wrong,mom?"  "It's just sad that you don't believe anymore." She tried to make me feel better, "Well, I still believe in pirates and mermaids and the Illuminati." BWHAHAHA. She is a conspiracy theorist now, apparently.

The next day I picked her up and she turned to me, "Mom, are you and dad the Easter Bunny too?"
I didn't even respond. I just lowered my head in shame.
                        
"I knew it! How did you get the big rabbit prints on the floor?" I told her about how I made mud and painted them on every Easter eve. She laughed, "That's cool. I'll do that for my kids too."

I knew this day would come but it is sad. Being a kid is so fun and magical. She is growing up and that's hard. I know I'm just a few years away from having to wake my children up on Christmas morning, Maybe 5 years from now? I can see my husband and I sitting in front of the tree with the presents at 9 am on Christmas morning, debating if we should wake up our ungrateful teenagers. Uggh.

At least I have a few years left with my little one believing. We'll try to make it count. When it ends for her, I might need therapy. I mean, I need therapy now - I just will need more of it then. :)