Music Camp

           
My oldest daughter came to me in May with a brochure for music camp at one of the local universities. I looked it over. It seemed legit, there was an option to stay overnight at the dorms and it was reasonable for overnight camp but not cheap. "Okay. You can go BUT that is going to be one of your only birthday presents. We are taking a big vacation AND we are throwing you a birthday party and you want a violin. We are not made of money."

She agreed. I submitted everything and got a confirmation that they were out of dorm spaces and she was wait listed. She was a little bummed but she could still participate in the day camp. A few days before we left for Italy, I got an email that a dorm space had opened up for her. She was ecstatic.

It has been ALL band all the time since she got back from vacation. The week before last she had flute camp all week (yes, that is an actual thing) and the following Monday I took her to music camp at the University. I gave her the list of what she needed to pack and we loaded her blanket, pillow and suitcases into the car.

When we first checked in, they made her audition to see which band she would be in. I waited in line with her and held her case. When she went into the audition room, I stood next to the door where she couldn't see me, my ear close to the crack and listened to her play through her scales and the sight reading.

Yes, I am a psycho band mom...and gymnastics mom, and dance mom. I've invested a lot of time and money into my kids activities so I'm all in. I thought she sounded fab. I breathed a sigh of relief.

After the audition, I checked her in and we got her key to her dorm and her lanyard for meals. They were explaining how everything worked. She would be responsible for getting up and making it to all the rehearsals on time, the meals would be in the college cafeteria. Whoa! This was real life.

They assigned her dorm number. There were two other 8th grade girls already checked in who were going to be rooming with her. As we walked to the car to collect her things, I talked to her about expectations. "Please don't corrupt your roommates." Yeah, I said it. My child is a good girl. About 90% of the time, I have no problems from her at all. However, some kids going into 8th grade are still very innocent and some kids going into the 8th grade know all the things and are free spirits and pierce their own ears. I am under no illusions about my child. I am not in denial. My eyes are always wide open.

She grinned, "Okay, mom." We got her stuff and walked up to the dorm room. She slid her key into the lock and opened the door. There was a tiny, skinny girl with glasses and ripped jeans. The other girl was sitting cross legged on the bed. She was wearing a tie dyed tee-shirt, had purple streaks in her hair and a septum piercing. They were listening to some pop music and talking to some boy on speaker phone.

Well, this is going to work out. These are my daughter's kind of people. My daughter is not shy at all. She threw her stuff on the empty bed and then turned to me and said, "Bye mom." Then she gave me some half ass hug and a look like, You can go now. 

"Okay. I love you. Have fun and be good." Then, I left. I left my daughter at the college dorm, walked out and drove home alone. I cried a little. Not because I'm leaving her at camp but because I know that it will happen one day and it will be for good. The years are passing much too quickly.

She wants to go to the Governor's School of the Arts. She has been talking about it for 6 months now. She can apply for the summer program in January. She WANTS to go for flute but will audition for flute, dance and chorus to increase her chances. She can go in the summer between 9th and 10th grades and if you are accepted you live there for 11th and 12th grade. Kind of like boarding school. It's 4 hours away.

When she first told me about wanting to try for Governor's School, I felt my knees buckle. Our time together already seems so short. But, if she has a dream to go and puts the work in and actually is accepted (it's competitive and there is no guarantee she'd get in) then I will let her go.

It would be an amazing experience for her and would open a lot of doors. She would be around people with the same goals and interests. It would be so hard for me but I will never hold her back because I need her here with me. If she is presented with opportunities and experiences that will help her grow and work towards her dreams, I will say yes EVERY TIME. My job as a parent is to make sure that the children are capable enough to support and make a life for themselves one day. I remind myself of that often, especially now as she quickly approaches high school.

I heard from here and there throughout the week. She touched base a few times. A healthy amount. She called to ask me to bring her a razor that she forgot to pack. She called me to tell me about her new friends and to tell me she got a solo. It seemed like she was having fun.

On Saturday, we met her to unload her dorm and have dinner in the cafeteria with her. We ate with her friends and their parents. They all live 2-3 hours away. They talked about marching band and other nerdy band-kid stuff. My daughter sat next to this boy who looked like a Abercrombie model.

I'm going to go off on a tangent right now - they DO NOT make kids like they used to. Middle school kids are supposed to be awkward. Not now a days. This is what a 13-14 year olds looked like in my day:



This is 13-14 year olds look like today:
      

What the hell are we feeding these kids? Jesus. When we were in Italy someone was talking about how I have beautiful teenage daughters. I was like, You mean my 10 and 12 year olds? What the hell. All these kids are infants but they look so much older than they are. It's the WORST.


 Anyway, Abercrombie boy looked at us nervously. I could tell something was up. Something was.

After dinner, she went to get ready for her concert and we sat and waited. Before long, she took the stage. She looked so beautiful. We make pretty people, I bragged to my husband.

She played her solo beautifully. I was so proud of her. The rest of their pieces were fantastic. They sounded like professionals. I could not believe we were listening to a middle school band. After the concert we hugged and congratulated her. She was really happy.

She hugged her friends goodbye including Abercrombie boy who made it a point to shake our hands and tell us how nice it was to meet us. What is up with this kid?

We walked to the car and she chatted excitedly about her new friends and the band directors. Then, here comes Abercrombie boy running after us. Do you know what he said to us? "Excuse me. Can I talk to your daughter alone for a minute?"

What the hell? That's pretty bold. He was really putting himself out there. "Sure." My husband and I walked to the car. "You are going to let her talk to this kid?" my husband said.
I sighed, "They obviously hung out together all week. How many shenanigans can they get into in the parking lot with us 6 feet away? Besides, he lives over 2 hours away and is a teenage Abercrombie model. He probably has 8 girlfriends at home. He's not a threat. We have bigger fish to fry. Like the boys that show up to our house." That does happen. We are triggered.

You have to know when to pick your battles. She caught up with us after a minute. "What was that about?" I asked. She shrugged, "Nothing really. He just wanted to say goodbye."

I'm sure he did. We got ice cream on the way home and I was so happy to finally have her back.