I will be out of town for a week for work this week and my husband is in charge of running the house while I am gone. "Good luck with that s**t, I'm outtie..." is what I will say on Monday morning. I need some time away. I feel so negative lately. I am unusually grumpy.
I am actually a surprisingly upbeat person for being so cynical. The other day I was venting to my husband about something and I asked him when I became so cynical and he said to me, "The day you were born." He is probably right. I don't think that I am pessimistic, I think that my realism is just misconstrued for pessimism. If I didn't have kids I could care less (that's my indifference speaking) but I know that I have to curb my realism with a good dose of optimism so that they don't grow up to be distant and negative. It is really hard because I feel like I have to lie a lot and pretend.
For instance, when my daughter tells me she wants to be a rock star I tell her that it's awesome and that she should go for her dreams when inside I think "Statistically, that probably won't happen so maybe you might want to have a back up plan like going into law or something...." If my kid is upset about someone mistreating them I say, "Well, maybe they had a bad day" when really I think, "They are just a**holes like most everyone else." When they complain their father yelled I'll say "He works really hard, give him a break" when I want to say, "His daily schedule is soul-crushing and you both are slobs." While I want my kids to be positive, I don't want them to be idealistic. I want them to run from train wrecks and avoid damaging relationships and not get a Masters degree in Women's Studies.
This week I will work on being more positive. I will ponder unicorns pooping out rainbows and puppies and butterflies. If that doesn't work, I'll probably just drink a boatload of margaritas. Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment