The ER

As mentioned in a previous post, when I picked up my 6 year old from school Friday she had a bug bite that she complained was hurting. It had a little red welt but didn't look bad. When we got home, I washed the area and put some antibiotic ointment on it and I had her elevate her leg and ice it so it wouldn't be so uncomfortable. We watched a movie and them went to bed.

I woke up at my usual 5 am on Saturday morning and got dressed and sat down with a cup of coffee to read the news. Around 6, my daughter woke up and she limped into my room. "Mom, my leg hurts really bad." She sat on the edge of the bed and I pulled her pant leg up and from under her knee, down her leg was extremely swollen, red, and very hot to the touch. It looked (and felt) like someone dipped her leg in a pot of boiling water. I was slightly alarmed. "We are going to the doctors. Get dressed." That's what we did.

It was 7 am and all the doc-in-a-box places were closed. That was very annoying. I went to 3 different ones before finally surrendering and going to the ER - which I knew would have rude staff, a long wait and cost a small fortune. I was right, the ER never disappoints when it comes to those 3 things.

We walk in and the lady at the front desk didn't even look up. "Good morning..." I begin. She responds with, "Hold on," and she proceeded to do her paperwork for a another 10 minutes. When she finally did check us in she was completely disinterested and rude. I wanted to say to her, "It's cool if you hate your life, but maybe you shouldn't be working with the general public." Alas, my life is full of things I want to say but never do.

They have us sit in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. The TV in the waiting room was showing an infommerical for a Shark steam cleaning mop. My daughter was mesmerized by it. She kept poking me saying, "Mom, can we get that? Please, Please, Please...." She was telling me how great it was and how it could help me with cleaning. She sounded like a Shark steam cleaning salesperson. It was very strange. "I think it's pretty expensive." She looked offended, "It is only $45.95." "Actually, it's four payments of $45.95." She kept bugging me about it until I finally said, "I'll ask Santa to get me one for Christmas."

I had brought a pad of drawing paper, markers, books and toys with us in the event that she got bored. She asked to draw a picture. She drew this:

It is a picture of a woman standing next to her Shark steam cleaner. Notice how clean and sparkly her floor is. She is saying, "I am so happy my floor is clean."

They finally called us back and took us to another room to wait for another hour. My daughter was getting anxious so I told her I would put on a show. There were 2 signs in the room next to the TV that said, "KEEP THE TV ON CHANNEL 4." All in uppercase. As if they were yelling it. I turned on the TV and The Real Housewives of New Jersey was on channel 4. I didn't know anything about this program but I am from New Jersey and they were at a fashion show, so it seemed pretty okay. Well, I was wrong. They had bad potty mouths and were bratty and have stupid, made-up problems. I tuned the TV off.

We read a book. My daughter asked me to climb up onto the gurney with her and we laid side by side on our bellies reading until the doctor came in and proceeded to look at me like I was a weirdo. I get that look a lot.

He looked at her leg, declared it cellulitis, wrote a prescription and left. We waited another 40 minutes before they let us out of that God forsaken place.

I went to the front and the rude lady was there and she told me I owed $125. "Is that my 20%?" "No, that is your co-pay. We will bill you for the 20%." I handed her my debit card and I grimaced and turned away. It was painful to watch. I had already spent hundreds of dollars this week on 3 dr. visits, chest x-rays and medicine. It was required but that is a lot of money to rack up unexpectedly in one weeks time. The lady must have noticed that it was causing me pain because she said, "You can always apply for charity." I laughed, "I have the money, I am just being a cheap a**hole." Okay, I didn't call myself an a**hole. I did call myself cheap. She handed me the receipt and I sighed.

I turned my my little one. "Want to go to Publix to get some Ramen noodles?" This kid LIVES for Ramen noodles. She nodded excitedly. I was kind of excited too because I knew her medicine would be free at Publix. Score!