Being Bad at the Movie

                                        
We rarely go to the movies. Maybe once every six months. It is way too expensive and there are generally not enough movies that look so good that we need to see them right now, so we wait until they come out on Redbox. When we saw the trailer for the Great and Powerful Oz, I knew that was one of the movies we would see in the theater. We decided to go on Friday. We had one of my daughter's friends with us and she was going to spend the night. Tickets for the movie were almost $50. We purchased the ticket, went to dinner, and then went to the dollar store to get some candy as I was planning to purchase a combo at the theater - 2 sodas and some popcorn for $11 and then a soda for my husband. I was not spending 3-4 dollars for candy they sell at the dollar store for $.75.

The kids picked out Skittles, some gummy thing, Nerds and I got some Milk duds. I put them in my small purse and we headed to the movies. When I got to the front, I handed the lady my tickets. She said, "I'm going to need to look in your purse." What the hell? Is this some kind of communist movie theater? I was just straight about it, "I do have candy in my bag." She gave me a look of disapproval, "You're going to need to throw it away or take it back to your car." This other lady walked up giving me a dirty look with her arms crossed in front of her. I was taken off guard. "Come on kids." I turned around and walked past a line of people behind me who heard the whole thing. I was embarrassed. I did the walk of shame back to the car (which was on the far end of the parking lot) and as I walked, I thought. They treated me like I was a common criminal. I was going to buy $15 of concessions. Me spending $65 at the movie theater isn't enough? I need to spend an additional $12 of candy too? That's highway robbery. I began to get mad. I decided that I was going rouge.

We sit in the car and the kids began to get upset. "Can we buy candy?" I turned around to the backseat, "No! We're bringing it in." I was being a horrible example. Breaking the rules in front of my kids. Bad Mom Award for me. I have a huge wallet (because I'm cheap and I need a place for my 142 customer cards). I took all my cards out and took the gummys out of the wrapper and stuffed them in my wallet. The nerds were loose in the box. I was looking around for something to put them in. My daughter had a pencil in a ziplock bag so I took out the pencil and filled it with Nerds. Where was I going to put the Nerds? In my pants, in the front of my mom jeans. That's what I did. As I walked in the kids were snickering. I handed the lady my tickets. I opened my purse to reveal my wallet and nothing else. Then I went and purchased the overpriced popcorn and soda and we went to sit down.

"Mom, can we have the candy now?" I saw an usher standing at the side. It wasn't safe. "Just wait". The movie started, the usher left and I handed the Skittles and gummies over. I went to get the nerds. Well, it was hot in my pants and the ziplock bag like, melted to my stomach and it was sticking. I could not get it out. I was trying to be discreet. I had my hands down the front of my pants fighting with this bag of Nerds. I felt like Pee Wee Herman. I finally got them out and I ate some and I fed them to the kids. Bad Mom Award part 2. It was a good movie and I learned an important lesson. I learned that next time I will go to a movie theater that doesn't conduct TSA screenings. My $65 can be spent somewhere else. Movie devils.