I have been feeling like shitty McShit lately. I think it's allergies. Sinus pressure, headaches, over-all lethargy. It's the worst. The other day I was laying in bed trying to rest in the mid afternoon and my daughter approached me. "Mom, you need to come downstairs and talk to Lily (the neighbor girl)." I looked up at her, "Why?" I didn't want to get out of bed and I needed a good reason. "It's about a boy." Lord Jesus. "Shouldn't she talk to her mom?" She shrugged, "She wants to talk to you. She thinks you'll understand."
I was curious and a little concerned. I love twelve year old Lily like my own so I went downstairs to see what the big deal is. She was sitting on my porch. "Whats up?"
She let out a deep sigh. "I like a boy and I think he likes me back but I'm not sure. How do you know a boy likes you?"
I am not an expert in this, AT ALL. "Does he talk to you?"
"Yes, we are friends. Sometimes he sits next to me at lunch. One time our arms touched and he didn't move it."
"Okay, do you ever talk to him outside of school?"
"Yeah, he gave me his phone number once and we had like, a text conversation AND he's following me on Instagram. And get this...the other day he told me that I looked pretty."
"I would say there is a strong indication that he likes you."
"But if he does like me then why doesn't he tell me he likes me?"
"I don't think that boys do that. Maybe he's afraid of rejection. Why don't you tell him?"
She shook her head violently. "No, never. That would be like....soooo embarrassing."
"So hypothetically, what would happen if he did like you?"
She shrugged, "Probably nothing. I'm not allowed to kiss boys."
"People kiss in seventh grade?"
"Yeah."
"Like, tongue kiss?"
"Ewwww, no."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. But sometimes they hug for like, five minutes straight."
I didn't know what to say. I told her that she was pretty and smart and that she should just be herself AND talk to her parents about the hugging.
She continued. "It's just that, I can't stop thinking about him. I think about him all the time and -" I interjected, "And every song that comes on the radio reminds you of him, and you can see the outline of his face in the cracks in the side walk, and you write his name in a secret notebook with hearts around it, and see him every time you close your eyes...."
She was like:
"Yes!!!!! How did you know that?" I laughed, "Because I was a twelve year old girl once. Like, a million years ago, but I was one. It's just a thing that you go through." She seemed relieved that she wasn't crazy. "So, what do I do about it? How do I make it stop?" I don't know. Marry him. haha, just kidding, I didn't say that. Take an ice cold bath, maybe? "Just wait. It just takes time I think. But make sure you keep your grades up. Don't stare at him in class when you should be paying attention in class." She hugged me. "Okay." She probably won't do that but I gave the responsible adult advice.
I was not prepared for any of that. Am I supposed to have an answer to these kinds of questions? Adolescence is so hard and confusing. It's a miracle any of us survive it.
I may have survived it but you would think that I was still stuck in that era if you knew how un-technology savvy I am. A few weeks ago my friend was talking into her cellphone and I said, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I am the worst at texting so I just use the microphone." WHAT?!?!?! Apparently, you can talk into your cellphone and it will dictate it to text. My mind was blown. That night when my husband came home I asked him if he knew about this magic. "Yes, I did. It's not new, it's been around for a while." What? No one ever told me about this. I was so excited.
I have been using my microphone constantly. It's so much better than texting. One day I was bored and I wondered if it would dictate curse words and dirty words. It did. It spelled them correctly. It made me giggle. My husband was like, "Why did you just text me: damn crap pee pee asshole?" I dictated back: "Because I am immature." I have to amuse myself some how.
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