Sunday, February 21, 2016

Middle School Madness / Jeff


I am just living the middle school dream right now. I just took my daughter's phone away through the end of the school year. For various reasons. One of the reasons is that too many boys text her and I don't like it. Things are different this year, the kids are different. They are little more mature, or think they are. They curse and think they know things. It's the age - I know, but I don't like it.

I was lamenting this to my girlfriend who also has a sixth grade daughter. "Did you know that boys tell dirty jokes at the lunch table?" No, I didn't but it doesn't surprise me. 
I turned to my daughter, "Kids are telling sex jokes at lunch?" She looked at me dumbfounded.
shrug shrugging
"You do know. I'm not stupid." She protested, "I know they do but I don't know what they say because I don't sit on that side of the table." SURE. I believe you so much. Not. Let us just get through the school year.

Not that next year will be much better. Seventh grade is when everything just completely goes to hell. I remember when I was in seventh grade it was a thing some of the boys to carry around condoms in their wallets, you know, "Just in case." They would flash them at the girls because that was a cool thing. 
tv reactions eyes eye roll kill me
That was decades ago. I guess some things never change. I just hate it. I want to put my kids in a box for the next 7 years away from all the other kids.  Although, dirty jokes are funny. Here is one I find especially amusing: What happened when the married couple with 2 kids had sex every day for a week? A unicorn, leprechaun and mermaid showed up to congratulate them. LOL. That's a mom joke.

I am currently accepting thoughts and prayers. I thank you in advance.

In other news, we got a cat today. I've been talking about getting a cat for a little while but my husband was protesting. This morning my husband woke up and out of the blue said, "We should get a cat today." Whatever.

He went to the movies and I told the kids we could go look at cats. I told them, "I want to get a boy cat and name him Jefferson after Thomas Jefferson." He's my favorite president.

"We can call him Jeff for short." The kids were agreeing with me for some reason. 

We walked in and there were only 2 cats to choose from. One was a scrawny little kitten named Ella and the other was a 3 year old Tabby named...Jeff. I am not f**cking kidding. 

What is the likelihood of that? Jeff isn't even a cat-like name. It's a one in a million coincidence. God and the universe were telling us that it was meant to be. I should have brought a lottery ticket. It was a little freaky.


He is soooo adorable. Just look at that face:



I was in a rare mood today. I let the kids pick out all kinds of toys and crap for this cat. We took him home and he acted like he owned the place and attacked the dog. They will need to be separated for a little while before they are re-introduced.

He is so funny. He sat on the windowsill and snuggled up with us. We love Jefferson. Plus, my husband is glad to have another boy in the house. He is truly outnumbered. Jeff + us = it was meant to be.


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