I'm not going to talk about my kids today. I always talk about the kids. They are well, and excited for school to be out in just 8 short weeks. I can't believe it. I am going to talk instead about the fabulous massage that I received this week.
I was not expecting it. I was away on a work trip and it was like any other week. I went and checked into my hotel and they handed me a bag of snacks and my room key and a card. I went up to my room, set everything down and collapsed on the bed. I pulled out my computer and some work but the hotel card was sitting on the dresser and I was curious about it. I opened it up and there was a coupon for the hotel restaurant and the spa. I looked at the coupon and thought about my sad aching back and how I've been a bit on the stressed out side and I thought, What the hell. I'm getting a massage. So I called down and booked my massage. The receptionist said, "We only have one slot open at 7 pm, and it's with a male therapist." I didn't care if it was a monkey, I took that appointment.
I LOVE getting massaged. LOVE it. However, I am much to practical to get massages all the time so I probably get one once a year. I was due. I have had my fair share of interesting massages. My husband got me a spa package for my 23rd birthday and it was a manicure, pedicure, facial and massage. Super nice. I booked it and was so excited to go. I had a sinus infection but I still went anyway. I was probably dying to get out of the house. I got all set up and was laying face down on the massage table and OH-MY-GOD, my nose started running. I was so relaxed and super self conscious. It started to drip. Onto the floor, underneath my face. It was so quick, I couldn't do anything about it. I was so embarrassed, but it was dark and I didn't think the massage therapist noticed so I didn't say anything. I was petrified and didn't know what to do. My nose dripped for a whole hour onto a puddle on the floor. SUPER AWKWARD. I wiped it up after I got dressed but I was not relaxed at all.
Then there was the time that I purchased a couples massage because I thought it would be fun and that my husband would enjoy it. I had to practically drag him in. He complained the whole way there. We were in the same room and we undressed and got onto the tables next to each other and while we were waiting for the therapists to come in he complaining and upset. My therapist was a super tall, young guy that looked like a basketball player. So he watched a Kobe Bryant look-alike massage his wife for an hour. Afterwards he was like, "This is stupid. I am never doing this ever again. This is gross." That was his first and last massage.
Anyway, at 7 o'clock I went down for my massage and they took me to the locker room and I got into my robe and slippers and sat and waited. It was very zen with a wall fountain and one of those sand and rake asian things - zen garden? Candles and rocks every where, relaxing music. I sat and waited and tried to take a nap. Story of my life. When can I take a cat nap.
I was greeted by a man my father's age. He had long, curly hair that was pulled into a pony tail. He looked like a hippy. He looked like he enjoyed nature walks and peace. He had the voice of Bob Ross, the TV artist. Just relaxing and soft. "Hi, I'm Micheal. I'm going to be your therapist today. Tell me about your problem areas." Everywhere is problem. I'm tired and my body hurts. I didn't say that though. I said my back, because I have that turning-30-and-your-back-starts-hurting-for-no-reason thing going on. I was escorted to the room and his Bob Ross voice told me to ring these chimes when I was ready. I hung up my robe and climbed onto the massage table and it was so warm. I wanted to take it home with me. I rang my chimes and he came in and did his work.
I was not anticipating getting a massage so things were not what they should be. My legs were unshaven, my toenails like daggers, my feet dry and the Sahara. It is so sad. Once the summer comes and I start wearing sandals, I will be a million times better at taking care of my feet but I never see my feet so I don't care. Myself 5 years ago would have been self-conscious about my disgusting body and unkempt feet. Not the me now.
I'm paying good money. At least I didn't have a disgusting rash or anything crazy. I was going to enjoy it. I did, except for that his stomach kept rumbling. I thought he would have had some granola in his little apron. I was feeling bad for him, he needed dinner. The hour flew by really fast.
Afterwards, I got back in my robe and he handed me a glass of citrus-infused water. He spoke to me in his Bob Ross voice again, "Make sure you stretch, okay? You have a got of tension." That's the understatement of the century. Tension is my middle name. I thanked him and I sat in that robe and sipped my water next to the zen garden and I thought to myself. I could get used to this. I need to do this more often.
I won't do it more often, but it was good while it lasted. A reprieve from the daily grind.
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