Monday, April 7, 2014

Someone Save Me NOW


                
Back to the regular scheduled programming and me complaining about the kids driving me crazy. My 7 year old makes me nuts. She is in this stage right now where she wants to wear the same clothes every day. Jean capris and the same lime green Carolina Girl tee-shirt. Last Thursday morning, I was sleeping soundly at 5:45 and she threw the shirt over me and nudged me awake. "Mom, Mom - this shirt has a hole, can you sew it?" Why? Just why? Let me sleep for once. ONE TIME. "Let me sleep until 6." Two minutes later, "Mom, are you going to sew my shirt?" She asked me like 8 times in that 15 minute span. I finally got up and mended the hole and I asked her, "Did you pick this out of the dirty laundry?" She was defensive right away, "It doesn't matter." We had an argument which ended in her wearing the shirt to school. I gave up. Bad Mom Award. If she wants to wear the same outfit everyday - go for it. Kids will start teasing her eventually and she'll get over it. It's so annoying because she has such cute clothes and she REFUSES to wear half on them. I'm not buying crap for her anymore.

The next morning, was the same story. I just wanted to sleep until 6 am. I don't feel like that's too much to ask. Oh, but it is. We made it until 5:33 am. My 7 year old rubs my cheek, "Mama, mama - can I wake up?" I groaned. "Yes, just don't bother me until 6 am." She said, "Okay, but can you turn on the bathroom light? It's dark and I'm scared." What.the.hell. I contemplated asking her to hold it in until 6 am, but I didn't. I dragged my tired butt out of bed and turned on the stupid light. She walked in and I said, "Don't bother me until 6 o'clock, okay?" I climbed back into bed and thought about the 20 minutes of blissful sleep I was about to have. Yeah, that lasted 2 minutes. My nine year old climbed in between us and nudged me. "Mama, mama - can I lay with you for a while?" She already was, why did she have to ask? I yelled, "NO ONE TALK TO ME UNTIL 6 O'CLOCK. LET ME SLEEP!!!!" Why do I have to yell? I was losing my mind.

My oldest daughter had a sleep over that night and so we had a family night with our little one. We were watching the Regular Show and my husband and I both nodded off on the couch before 9 pm. On a Friday night. Sad, just sad. Getting up at the crack of dawn wears us down. We pretty much crawled up the stairs into bed. The next day was Saturday - this was going to be glorious. No getting up to take the kids to school. I was excited. I did sleep past six on Saturday morning. I was nudged at 6:18 by my daughter. "Mama, mama -  it's Saturday. The best part about Saturday is that we can sleep in."

Then this morning I was in hell yet again. I went to bed early but was plagued by horrible nightmares. I dreamed that we were being invaded by the Russians (WTH?) and the doorbell rang and my husband answered it and he got shot in the face. I woke up in a cold sweat. I was very disturbed. I fell back asleep and then dreamed that the women from The Single Mom's Club were having drinks with me and one of them got really drunk and threatened to beat me up and then my house got robbed. I've never seen The Single Mom's Club but I saw the movie poster so it must have been in my head.


Needless to say, I tossed and turned all night. I felt like I was DYING when the kids came in at a quarter to 6. I begged my husband to let me sleep just another 15 minutes. He was insistent that I get up. You know, because misery loves company. "Get up and be a good parent and make breakfast." He was being facetious but I was not in the mood. "I had nightmares and couldn't sleep. Just give me 10 more minutes. I AM a good parent." I did get up but I didn't like it. Let me remind you that I clean up all the vomit in our house. 

I am still holding out hope that I will get to sleep-in one day. At least until 6 am, 5 days in a row. That would be so magical. Until then, coffee.....lots and lots of coffee.










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