Somebody Please Save Me From This Messy House

                        
 I took vacation days this week. Yea for me! But not really. I took days off so I can clean my damn house. It is out of control. I cannot stand it. I really do the best that I can to keep up, but it has been incredibly busy around here and the kids are slobs and we are just so unorganized. Let's take a tour of my messy house, shall we?

That's the laundry pile right now - which is the least of my concerns because it is always like that. A never ending giant pile. 

What is all this crap on my counter? Who does that Santa plate belong to? It doesn't belong to us.

Why do we have so much cereal? How old is it? I honestly don't know. I don't remember buying them. They are all half full, by the way. 

What is all this crap? Why? Just why?

What the hell is on top of my refrigerator? I don't know, honestly. I haven't been up there in at least 7 months. I'm afraid to look. 

More crap. The fruit bowl only has one token kiwi in it. It's sad.

Why does this exist? I see that flashlight that is missing the top will really come in handy during an emergency. How smart of us to keep it around.

I haven't used any of this crap in months. Yet the drawer stays full. 

Let's not forget the stair case AKA the place where we throw all the sh*t that needs to go upstairs AKA the shoe graveyard. Instead of picking it up, we will step over the crap to get upstairs. Seriously?

Why did someone drop the toothpaste and not pick it up?

Every time I look in this linen closet, I feel dead inside.

This is the landing at the top of the stairs AKA the place where we throw sh*t that needs to go downstairs.

I think the screwdriver, lidless tupperware and juice pouch make a lovely addition to my bathroom vanity. Don't you?

What is in this nightstand? I'll tell you - my husband's college textbooks from 2004. Lord in heaven.

Why are these shoes in our closet? Throw.them.away!!!!

Now do you get it? My house isn't dirty - but it is messy. I need to just do some organization. I got started already and am making some head way. I was going through the girl's rooms and getting rid of junk. My 9 year old was all about it. She'll get rid of anything and everything. Not my 7 year old. She has hoarding tendencies. I had a bag of crap. Clothes with stains, clothes that don't fit, old shoes. She flipped out. She laid herself on top of the bag and screamed, "NO! NO! This is my stuff." I tried to speak logic into her. I took the things out. "These sneakers are gross. You told me you hate them." She looked at them indignantly, "I don't hate them and I am going to wear them tomorrow." Whatever. "What about these shoes, they don't fit you anymore." "I'm saving them." "For what?" "My children." "You think your kids are going to want these worn out shoes 30 years from now?" She thought for a moment. "Yes". Someone just please shoot me now.

I did get her to agree to get rid of 5 things. I also sneaked some things out when she wasn't looking.

Later in the afternoon, I was getting my pile of stuff ready to go to Goodwill. The kids were playing with the neighbors. All of a sudden my 7 year old walked in with a picture. "Mom, they gave this to me. I want to hang it in my room." Typical that they would bring more junk in while I am trying to clean it out. It wasn't just any picture. It was this picture:

It's a dead baby holding a french horn in a plastic frame that is trying to look like wood. Just....no. This cannot be hanging in my house. Why do the neighbors have it? I convinced her that the baby would be staring at her while she slept and that creeped her out enough to allow me to put it in the Goodwill pile. Thank goodness.

Please keep me in your thoughts as I battle the junk drawers and refrigerator today. It's hard, but someone has got to do it.