Country Parade

                    

This weekend my daughter was in a parade for gymnastics. It was a little bit out in the country, about 15 miles from our house. I hadn't been to this parade before, so I was excited to see what was going down.

We drove for what seemed like forever to find out where to drop off our daughter. The floats were all lining up and we found where she needed to be and we let her off. My husband was having a hell of a time getting back to the main road. He was mumbling and cursing under his breath. People were just walking in front of the car and not letting him in. Finally he exploded, "What the hell!?!? They are letting kids ride in this parade in their big wheels?" I laughed my butt off. "Ummm....honey, they are shriners."

                        
I couldn't contain myself. He thought they were little children in baby cars.

We finally found a spot toward the end of the parade and waited for what seemed like forever for it to start. In the meantime, I spotted a lady with a baby next to us. I remarked that her baby was cute. Well, that opened a door that I never should have opened. She had the baby on her hip and was smoking a cigarette. She talked in a thick, thick country accent. "She ain't cute at 2 in the morning." She pointed to her other children. "I have a 1 year old, 2 year old, and 3 year old. The doctor told me I shouldn't have any more 'cause they were all born early." Well, smoking and getting pregnant at 3 months postpartum might be why. I didn't say that though, because I didn't want to be judgmental.

She could have ended it there - but no. Of course not. She nudged her boyfriend, husband, baby-daddy guy. He was wearing jeans, a camo jacket, and had a star tattoo on his neck. He looked like the lead singer of Crazy Town. haha
                                   
 "I told him he needs to keep his hands off of me. I always get pregnant on birth control." She took a puff of her cigarette. "I should have named this baby Mirena." I'm a complete stranger and she's just out there, telling me all her business.

I think that I am just one of those people. People that I barely know tell me EVERYTHING. Maybe it's because I look like I'm non-judgmental or because I listen with fascination. I don't mind it, I just don't want to have images in my head that can't be erased. I need a reality show because I come across the most ridiculous people.

I am not making fun of country people. If there is a zombie Apocalypse, I am teaming up with them. They are going to survive. They have guns and trucks and MREs and sheet.

The parade finally came and it was actually pretty good. However, in the middle of the parade a train came through. You know you are at a country-ass parade when everything has to stop when the train comes through. It was carrying coal. We were partying like it was 1889.

Then the shiners came by and I made fun of my husband again.

Our daughter came at the end and she was smiling and waving and then her float trailed off into the distance. We bid farewell to the people sitting next to us. They were both holding kid and the 3 year old was trailing behind. I hope they don't go home to make any more babies, I thought to myself. I'm terrible.

I liked the country parade, I'm going to that one every year. It's much easier to find a spot at the country parade and every time I see the shriners, I will laugh out loud.