My kids have it easy. They really do. They don't realize how easy they have it and I realized that last night. We had a great day together. We got up early, watched a movie, I took them out to lunch, we went to get new fall decorations (because they old ones were destroyed by mold a month ago), then they played outside with their friends all afternoon until it was time to go to dinner at my father's house.
My 7 year old was having a bit of an attitude in the evening and I gave her multiple warnings. Finally, after she hit an open bottle of water out of my hand - I had enough. It was time to go. So when we get home, I told her she had to take a shower and put on pajamas and take a 15 minute time out. A very mild punishment, in my opinion. I am not about the long term punishment thing. We don't do week long groundings. Maybe if they did something serious like tried to light the house on fire or steal the car, then maybe. I generally am an address-at-the-moment-and-let-it-be-over kind of mom. My daughter screamed at me but got in the shower and put on her pajamas and laid down. I had a long talk with her about appropriate behavior and how MOM AND DAD are in charge and not her and I told her she had to lay silently for 15 minutes. At 13 minutes she started talking. I asked her to shut her mouth or I would add another minute. She kept running her mouth so I added another minute. She got out of bed and started hitting her head against the wall - not hard, just enough to be annoying - so I added another minute. Then she laid in bed and started kicking her legs and so I added another minute. Finally she decided that resistance was futile. She folded her arms across her chest and pouted and was silent the rest of the time. Afterwards she told me that the punishment was not fair and that 18 minutes is too long and that I was mean. Whatever.
So we put on a family movie and my 9 year old asked if one of us would lay next to her for the movie. I volunteered. I laid down next to her and as soon as I did she said, "I want dad." "Well, you don't get dad, you get me." She she cried. Like a baby. So I told her she could lay alone. She screamed, because if she wasn't getting what she wants then she wanted to ruin everyone else's movie time. My 7 year old turned to me and said, "She's ruining the movie." I sighed, "She's acting how you usually act." She shrugged and said, "I do have a lot of issues, but you always help me work through them, mom." Hahaha. She's pretty self aware for a second grader. Then she starting scratching her bug bites and calling out, "Curse my sweet blood!" while the 9 year old continued to scream. It was almost comical at this point.
Finally my husband got fed up and screamed at her that she was acting ridiculous and that she can't just scream and cry to get her way. He really yelled, the house boomed. My 9 year old was quiet but then in a weepy voice said, "You guys always torture us, because when you yell, it scares me - and when you scare kids it is torturing them." Ok, little miss melodrama. First of all, I don't yell all that often. Second of all, when I do yell - it's because I have already asked you 10,000 times to stop the behavior and you failed to listen to me. She finally shut her mouth and got over herself. Thank the Lord.
These kids act like I made them sit in the chokey, or made them kneel on rice, or beat them with a belt. No - we yelled and made them sit silently for 15 minutes. We are torturers, horrible people, terrible parents. Our kids will require therapy one day because our punishments are so unusually cruel. It's hard work work being an evil mom. Exhausting.
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