It's the summer time and the kids have decided that they would like to camp out in our room on the floor instead of sleeping in their rooms. Whatever. They are on us like white on rice. We were all laying down and I was complaining about the light in the bathroom being on and opened a crack. I like to sleep in complete darkness. I have been known to cover the router with a blanket because I don't like the blue lights. The glow from the alarm clock even bothers me. My husband on the other hand likes to have a little light. He always makes a lame excuse like, "What if I need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night?" Ummm.... walk out of bed and walk 3 steps in a STRAIGHT LINE. We don't need a light on. I was grumping about the light and my husband was like, "Just leave it on." I had enough. I sat up in bed. "Honey, just admit that you are afraid of the dark." I've had my suspicions. He denied it and denied it. I was talking to him like I was trying to get him to come out of the closet. "It is okay if you are. I won't love you any less or think you are less of a man. Just admit it. You are afraid of the dark." He denied it again, "I am not." "Okay, prove it. Go into the closet with no lights for 2 minutes." I waited for his response. "NO WAY!!!" I freaking knew it. "That's because you are afraid of the dark." He laughed, "I don't need to prove myself to you." "That sounds like something that someone afraid of the dark would say." He sighed, "Why don't you do it, then?" I looked him in the eye, accepting the challenge. I got up and went in to the closet. It was dark as could be and I loved it. I began to doze off when I heard my daughter say, "TWO MINUTES!" I stepped out - victorious. "Your turn." He protested, but finally - he got up and accepted my closet challenge.
He lasted the whole time, then walked out. "There, are you happy? I am not afraid of the dark." Maybe. I'm still on the fence about it.
He laid down and we all had a little before bed chat. We got on the subject of super powers. I asked the kids what super power they would have if they could pick one. My 9 year old said, "I would have super speed and outrun anyone." My little one said, "I would be a fairy and have wings and a wand and would fly everywhere." My husband piped in. "I would pick telekinesis." "Why? You want to kill a bunch of high school students at prom." He laughed, "No, I would do nothing. I would make things come to me. I would never move. I would float." I thought for a while. I would pick invisibility. I would sneak into the White House, I would get on airplanes to exotic locations, I would follow around the kids when they are teenagers. That seems kind of creepy and stalker-ish. Then I thought I would love to have the ability to read minds. It would come in handy in a lot of situations. I would know if my husband REALLY was afraid of the dark. But it would be bad too, because I wouldn't want to know if people don't like me. That would hurt my feelings. Then I thought that maybe I would like the ability to see into the future. Not my life, but winning lottery numbers or terrorist attacks that I could thwart or accidents that could be prevented. I want all the super powers. I can't pick just one. We debated the usefulness of our hypothetical superpowers and then fell asleep.
The next night my husband went downstairs and I heard him say, "Damnit!!!" I shouted down, "What happened?" "The hallway light is out." He came upstairs a short while later. "I will bet you a million dollars that you left the light on in the kitchen so that it would light the hallway on your way upstairs." He smiled at me. "It's only because I am going to go back down there." I smiled back, "Or because you are afraid of the dark." Check mate.
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