Stalkerliscious

The other day I was on an important call and my 9 year old came up to me and was whispering in my ear, "Mom, mom, mom. Can I go to the mall." I was waving her away. "Mom, mom. I want to go to the mall with the neighbors." Again I waved her away. She stood in front of me and stomped her feet and then started doing a whisper whine. "Mom, Mama...." I wanted to do this:
                                  
But I didn't. It was hard not to, but I restrained. I covered the phone. "Just go." It was a moment of weakness. I didn't have my wits about myself. It was 4 pm and I had a lapse of judgement.

We had dinner and she wasn't back yet. So I texted their mom and the 11 year old daughter, no answer. So I waited. It was my fault. I didn't ask when they'd be home. Bad Mom Award. The minutes past. Finally when it was 8 o'clock, I had enough. It was time for the search and rescue mission. I mean who goes to the mall for 4 hours? I enlisted the help of my 7 year old. "I need your help." She hopped in the back seat and we headed to the mall. We got to the parking lot and I said, "What color is their van." "Red." We drove up and down the lanes until I thought I spotted it. "Is that it?" My daughter was like, "Yeah, I think." I parked next to it. "Look inside, do you see car seats?" That's when I spotted the 11 year old walking out of Sears with her baby brother on her hit. I drove away slowly and then parked out of sight. I watched the rest of the family come out carrying bags and then I saw my daughter. She was happy, she was fine. I watched them all walk to the car. Then I realized that I was being a creepy stalker. If I took my kids friend's somewhere and knew their mom was watching us from a distance and follow us - I would be completely offended and weirded out. What is wrong with me?

I drove away quickly so we could beat them home. I had to swear my 7 year old to secrecy. "You can never tell them that we did this tonight?" "Why?" "Because they will think I was crazy." For some reason this made her extraordinarily angry and she screamed, "IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Whatever.

We beat them home and we got in the house. We didn't want to seem suspicious. I then realized that I am going to make myself crazy when my kids are teenagers. Like, I might wear camo and hide in bushes outside of parties. I feel bad for my kids. I'm going to be like that creepy mom in the "I Love You Forever" book.
 
Someone help me.

Their car pulled in and we greeted them. I chatted with the mom for a little while. She is the funniest. She is Sudanese and has a thick accent and she is always just speaking her mind. She says things like, "I cannot wait until all of these children are out of my house" and "I am tired of these kids." haha. I walked over to her and hugged her. "How are you?" she asked and then she said, "Oh, you are gaining wait." Great - I am a creepy mom stalker and I am gaining weight. My life is falling apart.