Yesterday morning was not good. It was not good at all. It started off okay. The kids woke up early, we were getting ready for school. All was well. Until 6:45 am when my 9 year old decided that she needed to take a shower. "Mom, I'm taking a shower." I looked at her like she was crazy, "We need to be WALKING out the door in 15 minutes." "I'll just we 2 minutes." She never is just 2 minutes. "No, get dressed. If you wanted to take a shower you should have done that half an hour ago." After those words left my mouth my daughter became possessed by a demon. She threw her hands in the air and shrieked at me, "Are you saying you want me be be dirty? Is that what you want? YOU want your own daughter to be the dirty kid at school?" I looked at her like she was crazy, "No, I want you to get to school on time. Get dressed. You need to be downstairs and ready for breakfast in 10 minutes." I went downstairs to make breakfast and what do you know? I hear the water on upstairs. Oh no she didn't. I went up the stairs and yelled through the door that she was a disrespectful child and that she better get out and get dressed now. I was PISSED at her. I told her clearly not to get in the shower. I went back downstairs to finish what I was doing and it's now 5 minutes before we have to leave and she still has not come downstairs. I go upstairs yet again and she is in her bedroom - with the door open - getting dressed. I pop my head in and said (not yelled), "We need to leave very soon, hurry up." She turned to me with a look of pure range and screamed, "CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY!?!?" Then she stomped over and slammed the door in my face. What.the.hell. I expected her to spit acid and her head to spin around. SHE was the one changing with the door open, that's not my fault. I decided that I was not going to argue with her and yell anymore. I didn't have it in me. I spoke through the crack of the door, "I am leaving in approximately 3 minutes - with or without you." Good. I would have left her and then her father would have to take her to school and she does not want his wrath. He'll give you a look alone that will scare the pants off of someone.
I was almost at the bottom step when I heard her at the top of the stairs - she was sobbing, "Don't leave me, mama. Please don't leave without me." "You have 3 minutes." What do you know after 3 minutes, she still wasn't ready to go. I was done. I began to walk out the door. "I'm leaving." I yelled up the stairs. She started down the stairs looking all angry and dejected. "I need to brush my hair." "You can brush it in the car." She gave me a dirty look. We got in the car and I was so glad because she was in the back seat and I didn't have to deal with her. She just kept running her mouth. "You are so mean. You never let me take a shower..." Wait...what? I turned up the radio. "No one talk the rest of the time."
I pulled through the loop and before the kids got out of the car, I turned to her and said, "I love you, I hope you have a good day and feel better." She locked eyes with mine and said nothing. Et tu?
I drove home and it was only 7:30 am and all I wanted to do was wrap myself in a blanket and drink a bottle of wine. But I didn't, I sat down at my desk to do some work. A little while later my phone rang, I didn't get to it in time. I checked my voicemail and it was the assistant principal at the the school. "Hello, Mrs. B - this is Mrs. T at the Elementary school. I have your daughter, C here in my office......" Oh my God. I thought that she must have had a nervous breakdown after I dropped her off at school. I felt panicked for a moment. The message continued, "She is here with us.....because she just won a High Five Award for excellent behavior. We give this award to children who are well behaved and always do what they are supposed to do. We are so proud of her and so glad to have her here at the school." I laughed out loud because it was ironic. I immediately felt bad for yelling at her. She does try hard, my sweet girl. I decided that I would bring her lunch as a peace offering.
When I was at the school, I ran into a lady that I am friends with who is a substitute teacher. She was waiting for the kids to get out of music class, so we chatted in the hall for a minute. "You have my little one today and you had my 4th grader yesterday." She smiled. "I have got to tell you that you have the most fantastic children. They are so sweet and well behaved." Then she said this - I swear to you, "If all children were as well-behaved and cooperative as yours, the world would be a better place." What? Who are this children? Are they replaced with aliens as soon as they walk through the school doors? I was gracious and thanked her and said that they are very sweet and we are very blessed.
I made my way to the cafeteria and she was sitting there with her friends. "I brought you a happy meal. I heard about your award. I'm proud of you for always being good at school. We need to work on the mornings." She smiled at me and nodded and she even hugged me - in front of her friends. Score for mom. "I love you, mama." I kissed her little head. I visited for a few minutes but had lots to do.
As I was walking out of the school, I ran into another acquaintance who was walking in with her 4th grade son. I have known this little boy since he was 4 years old, he was in preschool with my daughter. He's getting so darn big. His mother and I chatted for a moment. "Can you believe that I had to come pick him up? He wore cologne to school and his teacher is allergic. I had to take him home, bathe him and get him redressed." I turned to him, "You wore cologne? It must be important to smell good, huh?" He gave me a sheepish grin.
These 4th graders - they drive their parents crazy.
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