My birthday has come and gone. It was a good day. I had a conference all day and I came home to a log in the fireplace and subs for dinner. That way my suggestion. I love subs, I'm not high class. I got in my jammies and we ate together and had a nice time. My daddy came by. Afterwards the kids were really excited for me to open my presents. I sat down and they handed them to me. I unwrapped a Disney Princess pom-pom pen, a "beauty kit" that consisted of a miniature plastic curling iron and brush and an iphone plunger. I appreciated their sense of humor. What I asked for was some new games we could play together as a family so that's what I got. They also picked out this beautiful garnet and diamond necklace. We played games, my 9 year old acted like a meanie at one point and went upstairs. Then we decided to watch a movie. Since it was my birthday, I got to impose my will on everyone else. It doesn't happen often, so I was very excited. We browsed through Netflix and all of a sudden I saw it. I was so excited. We were going to watch Forrest Gump. I LOVE Forrest Gump. Definitely up there in the top 10 movies of all time. I turned to my husband, "What's it rated?" He pulled up the info, "PG-13." "Perfect." He cautioned, "Keep in mind they had loose standards in the 80's and 90's." He is so right. We watched Spaceballs a few weeks ago - which is rated PG. They were dropping F-bombs, calling people A-holes. The movie rating board was definitely doing lines of cocaine in the 80's before they watched these movies. I was pretty comfortable with Forrest Gump. One summer we watched it once a week. I know every scene and line and where to skip over. I thought the kids would get bored and go play on the ipad anyhow.
They did not. They LOVED Forrest Gump. They watched intently. What a fantastic movie. As the credits rolled my 7 year old looked at me with sad eyes, "It was a good movie, mama, but every person he loved died." Awwww. "Not his son." She shrugged. "But Bubba, and Bubba was nice." She's so cute. We kissed the kiddos and went up to bed. It was a great night.
Last night we had plans to go out to dinner for one of my co-workers 40th birthday. It didn't work out though. My husband said to me, "Hey, we can't go to the thing tonight." "Why?" "Because it's at 10 o'clock." He is so right. That is too late for me. Maybe if it was closer to the house but to dress up, leave the house at 9:30, drive downtown, find parking, walk in the cold to the restaurant, be out until midnight, walk back to the car while trying to dodge the drunks and then driving home. That is just exhausting. My dad who was over had to interject and put in his 2 cents. "You guys should go. Have fun and live a little." We do - just during earlier hours. "Dad, it's just too late. I was up at 6 am, there is no way I'll make it." "Why were you up at 6 am?" he asked. I was annoyed, "Because that's what time I get up." I don't know what I'm supposed to say. There is no good rhyme or reason why.
We decided we would just have a earlier dinner together and go out for coffee. A date night. Our Saturday was packed with cleaning, grocery shopping, crying kids, a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. We were beat by the time our dinner date rolled around. I walked up to my husband, hair in a pony tail, glasses on, in a turtle neck and jeans and sneakers and said, "Can I just go like this? Would you be offended that I'm not even trying?" He shrugged, "Hell no. I'm going like this." He was in his jean and t-shirt and sneaks too. It was sad, but we were tired.
We decided to go to Outback because we really wanted some cheese fries. Nothing is more wonderful or shame inducing as fried potatoes, covered in a mountain of cheese, dipped in ranch dressing. We walk in and the girl was not very nice. "It will be a 50 minute wait." I took the little plastic buzzer thing and we decided to wait in the car. I figured maybe I could nap or something. haha. We sat in the car looked at each other. "A 50 minute wait? We are going to talk about all of our things and not have anything to talk about at dinner." He agreed. He confessed to me that he has a new obsession with playing Dumb Ways to Die on his phone so that's what we did. We sat next to each other and played Dumb Ways to Die for 45 minutes. It was quiet except for outbursts of, "That damn toaster gets me every time!!!!" Download it. You'll get what I'm saying.
Finally it was time to eat. We sat down and ate like pigs and talked about the kids of course and work and a variety of other boring things. Then we headed back into the cold to Barnes and Noble to get a cup of coffee and browse. We ordered our drinks and wandered the store, aisle by aisle and pointed out all the book that we will never have time to read. I picked up one, "Look honey, Why Men Marry Bitches, I didn't know you wrote a book about me." Then we went to the next aisle and they had health and relationship books and then we saw it. A book - right in the middle - in plain view. Oral Sex for Beginners or something. The cover was a nude woman - full backside facing us with her head in the lap of a naked man. What.the.hell. What kind of store is this? It was in plan view. I was very disturbed. Kids could easily just come by and see it. It was near the front of the store. Now, I may be old fashioned but I'm not a complete prude. I'm not advocating for banning books. I am a big believer in the first amendment. Maybe it's a great book. Maybe it rivals the complete works of Shakespeare, maybe it's saved marriages- but with a cover like that, it does not belong in plain view near other sections that might be frequented by families. I'm going to call the manager. It was outrageous.
After we experienced the shock of that we went to the magazine section. I picked some trashy, escapist magazine and plopped down on the over sized chair and sipped my coffee. My husband did the same. I finished mine first and I set the magazine in my lap. Before I knew it, I had nodded off. I was asleep in the arm chair at Barnes and Noble like a hobo. My hubby nudged me. "C'mon, let's go home." We did and I was glad we had decided not to go out at ten. There is no way that I would have made it.
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