Thursday, January 2, 2014

England and Things that Go Bump In the Night

                   
The other night we were hanging out, sitting on the couch, watching a movie and we heard this big crashing sound. It sounded like it came from upstairs, so my husband went to investigate and I looked around downstairs. We could not find the source of this crashing sound so we shrugged it off and watched the rest of the movie.

Afterwards, it was time for bed and my 7 year old asked if I could lay with her. I indulged her. I love our little convos before bed. We laid down and I looked up and the 5 boys from One Direction were staring at us. She got this One Direction poster for Christmas and it looks like their eyes follow you no matter where you are in the room, which is very creepy. I was putting clothes away in there the other day and I was a little perturbed by it. You can stop staring at me, Louis. I know I am very irresistible but you are much too young and I am married - we can never be together. I entertain myself.

So we are laying in bed and my 7 year old is telling me how she had a "rough day." As if she was digging ditches all weekend or something. She's dramatic. Then we has this conversation:

Daughter: "Mom, I'm having a hard time deciding if I should have a quinceanera or a Sweet 16 party?"
                          * She is planning 9 years ahead of time, way to put the pressure on*
Me: "Maybe we can go on a trip, instead of a party."
D: "Maybe we can have a party AND go on a trip."
M: "We'll see if we have any money then."
D: "Can we go to where One Direction lives?"
M: "I think they live in England."
D: "Uggh - I would never want to go to England."
      * She said at like she had a personal vendetta against England, it was confusing*
M: "Why?"
D: "You know, we don't speak the same language."
M: "What language do you think they speak?"
D: "British."

Oh my goodness, I lost my mind. I laughed so hard. She got all bent out of shape. "Why are you laughing at me?" "Sweetie, in England they speak English. They invented the English language, pretty much." She was so upset. "You can't expect me to know everything, I'm only 7!"

That's when we heard it - CRASH! My daughter sat upright and my husband came in along with our oldest. "What the hell is that?" It sounded like it came from above us. "Maybe it's the attic, I put some boxes up there yesterday." He was not happy. "Why would you do that?" "Ummm...because we need a place to store stuff." "It's not safe up there." I rolled my eyes. "Why don't you go up there and see what it is?" He was not keen on that idea. "What if it's an animal? What if something is up there and knocked down the boxes?" "What kind of animal do you think is up there knocking down boxes of books?" He shrugged, " I don't know, a bat." I laughed. "A bat did not knock over a 30 pound box of books." He then proceeded to create scenarios where a bat could potentially knock over a large box of books. "Maybe batMAN is up there knocking over books, but not a bat. Just go see." He was not going up there. Finally, I said, "That's fine. I'll go up there. Just open the hatch, because I'm too short to reach it." He pulled the cord and pulled down the ladder. I got ready to go up but he said, "No, I'll go up. I'm not going to let you go up there with bats." He ascended the ladder, annoyed, and I think a little bit afraid. I stood at the top and looked around. That wasn't it. We checked the closets, then he went down stairs and discovered a picture had fallen off the wall. Mystery solved.

It was a very eventful evening. I now realize that my husband has an irrational fear of bats. I need to do something with that information. I see a bat-prank in our future.


No comments:

Post a Comment