So, I lost my job on Friday. It was very sudden and somewhat unexpected. At first I was really upset. Not upset because I lost my job but mostly because I was offended. Like I was being broke up with. Even in relationships that you know are probably not the best, you want to be the dumper not the dumpee. What I felt mostly was relief. You see, I have worked hard. I have been in very high stress jobs the past 5 years. I have been stuck in this place where I am trying to do it all and it has been exhausting. I feel like I've been running a marathon for years and now someone finally told me I can stop.
That day, when I kids got home, I sat them down on the couch to tell them. They were shocked, my little one cried and asked if we were going to be poor. haha. Then they went out to play. I went out to the car to get something and my 5 year old next door neighbor ran out excitedly shrieking, "Mrs. B, YOU'RE FIRED! YAY! YOU ARE FIRED! YOU'RE FIRED!"
He hugged me and jumped up and down. News travels fast on our street. He was so excited about it, bless his little heart.
We will be okay and will make things work. We don't need to pay for childcare anymore, or someone to clean our house, or spend $600 going out to eat every month (yes, that is a spot on number. YOWZA!), we will take less vacations but the Disney cruise is still on. We'll save $1,300 a month by eliminating those items alone. And I'm not sorry about it. I will get to pick up the kids from school, help with homework every night, have a clean house, have energy to hang with the hubby, and a lot less stress. I told my husband that I am going back to the kitchen, where women belong. haha.
I am going to take my time to figure out my next steps. I am going to reflect, re-assess and figure out what I REALLY want to do. I'm going to stop and smell the flowers.
I think this is a perfect time be be a stay at home mom. When I stayed home before, I had little children. I was wiping butts, and making edible pudding paint, and sitting blowing bubbles in the back yard and watching the Wiggles. Now, I will drop the kids off by 7:30 am and then don't have to get them until 2:15. That's 7 unencumbered hours!
What am I going to do with my time? Important things.
1. I am going to take a nap. EVERY DAY. Like a boss. I am going to nap like I mean it. I am going to crawl into my bed at 1 pm and not feel guilty about it.
2. I am going to lose 10-15 pounds. I am not going to be on the road all the time anymore grabbing greesy fast food and Starbucks coffees. I am going to work out 3 times a week. I probably should work out every day but I don't want to get all wild and crazy. I want to get so hot and toned that I can break things with my butt,
3. Proof read my blog. I write this thing, hurriedly, at all hours of the day and night (it's 3 am now). Sometimes I'll go back and re-read them and I'm like:
I think, Was I having a stroke when I wrote this? Because WOW. I am a college educated woman who minored in ENGLISH. I need to get it together.
4. Meditate daily with or without the sound of chakra bowls playing.
5. Clean my house and actually do my laundry. No more laundry pile. No more soul-crushing dirty, upstairs bathrooms. I will have time to get and STAY organized so I can become one of those annoying Pinterest moms.
6. Shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows, paint my nails on a semi-regular basis and upkeep myself. Something I have not done for years. I'm not ashamed. I've been known in the past to lie and tell people that I am a feminist woman who doesn't feel like I need to remove all my body hair to fit into society's view of what beauty really is. But I truth? I only have 2 minutes to shower and I'm exhausted and CRAP I forgot to buy more razors.
7. Cook, cook, cook delicious food and bake. I love to cook and make yummy things from scratch but I find myself buying a lot of convenience food because I am exhausted or I am going out of town and I know my hubby won't cook. Not anymore. It is fresh, healthy dinners from now on!
8. Achieve Candy Crush greatness....I know, I have high aspirations.
9. Lastly, enjoy my time with the children.
I am going to love them, and hug them and spend time with them. We'll do homework together every night and take the dog to the park. We'll make holiday crafts since it's right around the corner. I am going to talk and laugh with them. That is the thing I am most excited about.
I have deep faith and I know that GOD has a plan for me and for my life. I trust that He is telling me that I need to slow down and enjoy the life I've been given more. I believe that when He closes a door, He opens a window. I have been on this planet long enough to know that there is something bigger and better for me right around the corner. I have a deep sense of peace. Everything is going to be okay,
If all else fails, I could always make a career out of breaking things with my butt. People might pay to watch that, right?
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