The dance was last night. I helped set up and was chaperoning. I blew up balloons as the DJ set up. I asked about what music he was going to play and if he found it hard to find appropriate modern music to play. He said that he only played the clean version on songs. Sometimes, even the clean version is dirty. Every song is about a booty. That being said, I always complain about how music has gotten so dirty and inappropriate but sometimes I listen to 30's and 40's music and there is this 40's song called "Bowlegged Woman" and he is talking about how he wants a bowlegged woman with her legs far apart, with enough room in the middle, she had a solid straddle when she went into battle. WHOA. The 1940's parents were not happy about it, I'm sure. So inappropriate music is not unique, it's been an ongoing issue forever. That somehow makes me feel a little bit better.
They turned off the lights and then the kids flooded into the gym. They were so excited. It was just 5th and 6th graders so it was a bunch of 10-12 year olds. What a weird age. It's so funny because most of the boys still look like little kids and all the girls are like a head taller and look like grown women. Even my daughter is taller than a lot of the boys. It was a sea of in-between children.
The music was playing and what surprised me is that all of the kids were dancing. There were very few wall flowers. My daughter was doing the Wobble and the Nay-Nay (which is something I didn't know about). Even the boys were cutting a rug. I thought - these are some confident kids. It must be the result of our generation of building up the kids to think they are so great. It was a fun and drama free event. When I was a kid, a dance wasn't complete until 2-3 girls were in the bathroom crying about the boy they liked being mean to them. Fighting with a girlfriend, being nasty to others. Someone being suspended.... Our kids were very well behaved.
I followed the rules and guidelines my daughter had in place. I didn't move my body when the music played. I did tap my foot. I manned the door and was inconspicuous. I did't attempt to talk to my daughter. She did come over to me a few times and acknowledged my existence and get this- she even hugged me in front of others. I was glad.
At the end of the dance, I was in charge of check out and I was talking to a dad that was chaperoning and we were chatting. He has a 6th grade daughter and an 8th grade son. I am fascinated by parents that have boys. I don't know anything about it. I asked him, "Do you worry more about your daughter than your son at this age." He thought for a moment. "You know, in some ways but it's hard having a boy because girls at this age can be so mean." I thought of the little boy who asked my daughter to the dance. I always assume that it is harder to raise girls than boys but I could not imagine having to help a boy navigate the middle school years. The expectation for boys and girls are different, Girls let out their feelings. They cry and sulk. Boys are expected to keep everything in and not cry and be strong. That's a lot of pressure and really hard. I guess none of us have it easy.
After the dance, my daughter was invited to sleepover a friend's house. We went back to the house and packed up and the whole family went to drop her off so we could have a late dinner. I walked in with my daughter and left my husband and little one in the car. I love this girl's mom. We are friends and she is just so sweet. She let me in and said, "Where is your other daughter?" "She's in the car with my husband." She smiled, "That girl is so funny. I have got to tell you what she said at B's party." Oh God, those words inspired fear in me. A few weeks ago, both my daughter's went to a sleep over party and a lot of the parents were there hanging out in the evening. We had prior commitments and couldn't stay. My friend continued with the story, "Well, all the kids were singing karaoke and all the adults were standing around watching and your daughter came up to the microphone and said, My parents couldn't be here tonight because they are on a date. Except their version of a date is sitting around the house in their under wear. Oh my God, we were all dying." Well, that's just wonderful. Now all my friends have that disgusting image in their head. I couldn't help but laugh. It is pretty funny. I don't have any shame anyway.
My kids are silly. I love them.
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