The Circle of Life

                                        
I was pleasantly surprised with a visit yesterday from my brother who was passing through on his way to a wedding. He lives 11 hours away and I miss him terribly. I was so happy to see him. He brought one of this childhood friends with him and his wife. I've known this friend for many years and I kind of think of him like a little brother too. In my head he is still an 11 year old with a bowl cut and a chain hanging around his neck. But there he was sitting across from me, a grown man holding the hand of his wife. They are having a baby.

I know a little thing or two about babies and he asked me a gajillion questions. I was very impressed with him. He was talking about slings and breastfeeding and cloth diapers. He's done his research. His wife was telling me how she was concerned about the birth. Oh, the birth. Women worry so much about it but it is such a short, fleeting thing. It's not a mystery. Women have been doing it forever. The birth is cake. The years of bringing a human being - now THAT is something to be concerned about. The years and years of sleep deprivation and servitude.

They asked me about my births. So I told them. Like everything else in my life, they were funny and a little bit ridiculous. I told them my placenta story. It's my favorite. My second daughter was born at home and I was undecided with what to do with the placenta. I couldn't just throw it away. It was a life giving organ. So I did what any normal person would do. I wrapped it in wax paper and put it in a large ziplock bag and put it in the freezer until I could figure out what to do with it.

Every day I would take my frozen veggies out of the freezer and see the bag of placenta, just sitting there. Chillin. We were moving a few months after she was born and we had to do something with it. So I decided I would bury it and plant a tree on top. So I took the placenta out to thaw and purchased a young tree. We didn't just bury the placenta. We had a placenta burying ceremony. I was a complete hippie.

We lit a candle. We read a poem. Placenta poems - that's a real thing. Insert placenta poem here: http://www.purplewalnutmidwife.co.uk/a-placenta-poem/. We said a prayer to the moon goddess and rubbed crystals and played chimes and all that hippie dippie sh*t. We should have had a drum circle. Afterwards I was pleased. I honored my life giving placenta.

The next day I went out to the yard and saw my tree laying on the ground and a big hole where it once stood and my placenta WAS GONE. I was like:

LOL. Some animal literally came and dug it up. Which is weird because we had a fenced in yard. The succulent sent of my placenta sent an animal over the fence. I was horrified. My husband shrugged. "It's giving life again. It's the circle of life." That did not help me. "It sustained our baby and now it is sitting in the rectum of an ANIMAL." For days all I could think about is the animal pooping out my placenta. I was horrified. Now, it makes me laugh and laugh. That's what I get for being a wanna be hipster. haha.

Anyway, back to the new baby. So we talked about baby stuff. That's what you think about when you are pregnant. The cuddles and the sweet baby smell the link between you and your partner, the cost of diapers and wipes. The sheer responsibility of having kids doesn't hit you until much later. I'm pretty much halfway through raising the children and I think back now at all the sleepless nights, illnesses they've been nursed through, meals I've made, laundry I've done, books I've read, boo-boos that I have kissed, vomit I've cleaned. The amount of time, money and work it takes to keep your children alive and thriving is absolutely mind blowing. You sacrifice almost everything. Your time, your sleep, your sanity. Your life is not yours anymore. It seems so daunting and if one really truly realized that before they had kids the human race would be much reduced. That's why I only have two.

Yes, it is an overwhelming amount of work. But the work is eclipsed with joy. I don't remember my life before the children. Except that something was missing. Somehow, when you love someone so much you don't mind the bad parts. You don't mind spending thousands of dollars on braces because you know your child will smile bigger and be more confident. You don't mind cleaning up the vomit. You don't mind making the meals or being interrupted. You realize that the laundry will always be there and you let it go. The children become everything. They become the sun in your sky. They are your heart and soul.

I smiled at my brother's friend and his wife. "Don't worry so much. Everything will be fine. You are going to love it!"