Math Homework and Other Things

                                

It's been so crazy around here I barely know what day and time it is. How the heck did it get to be September? But it is September which means - homework. Lots and lots of homework. The other night my daughter asked me to help her with her math homework. It was algebra. 2(x5+4x) - 2x = 5x+ 3 - 2(4x+3)....or something like that. I looked at it and panicked. I had flash backs of 8th grade algebra class. My teacher, Mr. Brown in a crisp pink polo shirt that was tucked into neatly ironed khakis. On the first day of school he stood in front of the class with a poster that had magazine cutouts of different images. An airplane, a couple on a beach holding wine glasses, a fancy car. "Do you want a life like this? Nice things. Or do you want to be a loser? You have to work hard in life." He gave us that speech. The impression I got was that if you were bad at algebra you might fall into the loser category. Well. I was bad at algebra and I was pretty sure that Mr. Brown hated me. He would always give me mean looks. I shutter to this day just thinking about it. Oddly enough, my husband also had Mr. Brown for 8th grade algebra. I am traumatized from algebra.

I took the paper and turned to my husband. You have to help her. I can't do it. He was like "okay." He sat down and started talking about excusing his dear aunt Sally and X this and X that. It was like Chinese talk. My daughter was getting so upset. "That's not how we do it. You have to take the pawns...." What? She cried and went to bed crying. My husband went online to figure out how they are doing math. They do hands-on equations which are completely different from how we learned math. It ain't yo mamas 90's algebra. So my husband dedicates his evening to watching Youtube videos and tutorials about hands on equations. It was 10 pm and he comes up to me with my daughter's homework and was like, "I got it! Here - I'll show you." No. Please, don't show me. I am a college educated woman. I served my time. I am not learning anymore algebra. He was annoyed. He wanted to show off his new math skills. So he is in charge of math homework and I am the english and social studies go-to.

Besides homework, things have been mostly uneventful. My daughter was not feeling well yesterday so I took her to the pediatrician. She was so cute in her little owl pajama pants. They wanted to do some tests and we were in the office waiting for results. She really didn't feel good and just wanted to be with her mama. "Mom, can I sit on your lap?" Sure. She crawled onto my lap and I held her like a baby. Except she is huge. She is only 5 inches shorter than me and she weighs 80 pounds.I hand her head under one arm and her long legs hung over the other and she laid her head on my shoulder. The pediatrician came in then and looked at us like me were crazy. I don't care if she's 10 - she's still MY baby.

We got her some medicine and she was feeling better in the evening. We were all pooped and just laying around chatting and talking about school. My older daughter said, "I think that I have health next week." My 8 year old said, "Is that when they teach you where babies come from?" I looked at her, "Where do babies come from?" She sat up confidently. "Well, the man and the woman mix up their DNA together, then the woman gets a baby in her uterus and when it's done - she just like, kinda poops it out of her private area."

I think that is an amazing pick up line. Hey, let's say you and me go back to my place and mix our DNA together.

So, that's whats going down in my house. My daughter's dance is today. It will give me tons of material, I'm sure. Until then....